When you were a kid, what was your ultimate “one day if I’m rich I would...” fantasy?

I don’t have one. I do have a long driveway in my house in Long Island, and sometimes I ride on it on a scooter. And that makes me feel like Richie Rich. Richie Rich, that comic book, made me anxious. Just the whole thing was kind of weird, it brought out strange, uncomfortable emotions of envy, and you know, sadness. He had parents, but it was one of the most depraved comic books of all. I wonder if it still exists, it can’t possibly still exist.

How come you decided upon clean humour and to never go blue?

Well when I started out in comedy in the ’70s, if you didn’t do clean humour you weren’t getting on TV, so I started doing that so I could be on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. And then when I saw what other people were doing, I just always wanted to be a little different.

What is the most mundane thing you and Larry (David; co-creator of Seinfeld) have obsessed over?

We never obsess over anything that isn’t mundane. Most recent was intentional mumbling. We wrote this script for this thing that you will eventually see but I can’t reveal what it is at this time. All I can do is tell you that it’s big, huge, gigantic.

How do you feel about laugh tracks on sitcoms?

This was something we struggled with quite often on Seinfeld. Because we had real laughs on the scenes that were shot in front of an audience, but then we would shoot other scenes that were not in front of the audience (which didn’t have any laughs) and then it felt like a bit of a mismatch, so we tried to compromise and put in a subtle laugh track. I think that one of the fun things of a sitcom is feeling like you’re in an audience even though you’re home, watching it by yourself. I have to say I like some sitcoms with them and some without. Depends on the show.

What was your favourite episode of Seinfeld to film?

Well, I’ll give you two. One was the The Rye because we got to shoot that at Paramount Studios in LA which was the first time that we thought “wow this is almost like a real TV show”. We hadn’t felt like a real TV show, the early years of the TV show were not successful. We had this idea of a Marble Rye and we had to shoot it in an outdoor set, and this was a very expensive thing to do, it’s like a movie place there at Paramount in LA. Their standing set for New York looks exactly like it, and we thought “this is where the ADULT shows are, the REAL shows like Murphy Brown”. We felt like we were a weird little orphan show. So that was a big deal for us.

The other one that was really fun was in the episode The Pothole, Newman drives his mail truck over a sewing machine and his mail truck burst into flames. It was really fun to shoot, and it was fun to set Newman on fire. And he screamed “oh the humanity” like from the Hindenburg disaster. It’s one of my favourites.

Were there ever story ideas that you had to scrap for Seinfeld because you felt they pushed the limits too far?

Yes. There was one episode where Jerry bought a handgun. And we started making it and stopped in the middle and said: “This doesn’t work.” We did the read-through and then cancelled it. A lot of other stuff happened, but trying to make that funny ended up being no fun.

Where did the idea of your character being a comedian for a profession, but the straight man for your friends, come from? I always thought that juxtapositioning for the show was genius.

Very good observation and analysis. The reason I would play straight was it was funnier for the scene. And very few people have ever remarked on this because it was a conscious choice of mine, only because I knew it would make the show better, and I didn’t care who was funny as long as somebody was funny and that the show was funny. So you have hit upon one of the great secret weapons of the Seinfeld series.

How did Seinfeld come to be? What obstacles did you face when pitching your idea of a show about “nothing”?

The pitch for the show, the real pitch, when Larry and I went to NBC in 1988, was we want to show how a comedian gets his material. The show about nothing was just a joke in an episode many years later, and Larry and I to this day are surprised that it caught on as a way that people describe the show, because to us it’s the opposite of that.

Who was your favourite supporting character on Seinfeld and why?

Newman would be my favourite supporting character. I mean, when I got to have a real evil nemesis like Superman would have, that was a dream come true for me. There’s no superhero that doesn’t have an evil nemesis, and I got to have one. And I love that nobody ever asks: “Why didn’t you like Newman?”

In some scenes, it’s apparent that you’re ready to crack up, and of course there are famous outtakes like Kramer’s “look away, I’m hideous” scene in which you completely lose it. Which was the funniest scene you acted out?

That’s an excellent choice, the one that you mentioned because I can still remember how brutally funny that was to me. The thing about the show is that you have to realise that I had to look into the faces of those people, six inches away, so if you think Kramer is funny on TV, imagine his real face six inches from your nose, how funny that is. You can’t imagine. It’s impossible not to laugh. So I would.

Did you have a favourite sitcom when you were growing up?

I would say, when I heard that they were going to do a sitcom with a secret agent who was funny, that it was going to be a comedy secret agent TV show, and it was going to be called Get Smart, the back of my head blew off. So that was really my favourite show when I was a kid. Also Laugh-In and Batman.

How hard is it to stay motivated and active on all of your projects, especially when you were doing Seinfeld.

I am burned out. And you may have noticed that I tend to quit things soon after doing them, like TV series, animated movies, book writing, Broadway. I do feel very strongly in stopping the second I feel like I’m not excited anymore, whatever I’m doing.

If you could grab a coffee with any comedian no longer with us, who would it be and in what car?

Wow. I probably would have to say Charlie Chaplin in a Duesenberg.

What is the coolest thing you get to do on a daily basis?

Probably walk to work. I think that’s about the coolest thing that there is. Or take my bike. If you can walk to work or take your bike on a daily basis, I think that’s just about the coolest thing that there is. Every morning I listen to the traffic on the radio, and they talk about how they are jammed and I just laugh. I love traffic. I love traffic reports because I’m not in any of them.

Do you find yourself often quoting the more popular lines from the show?

The only line I quote from the show is: “If you’re one of us, you’ll take a bite.” I find myself saying that to my kids a lot. It’s a very obscure line but George was working at some company where they all had lunch together, and he wasn’t trying the apple pie, and the boss finally says “If you’re one of us, you’ll take a bite”. A lot of times kids won’t want to try certain foods, and so I’ll use that line. Sometimes I’ll quote Newman in flames screaming: “Oh the humanity.”

What is your favourite way to relax?

Sometimes after a show on the road, I will find a place to have a cigar in an alleyway next to the hotel with a friend of mine, and I find that very relaxing. Also, driving relaxes me a lot and listening to music or sports radio.

Can you tell us how your white sneaker collection first started?

It started with wanting to be Joe Namath of the 1969 New York Jets, who at that time was one of the only football players to wear white shoes. And I wanted to be like him, so I always wore white sneakers. Also, Bill Cosby on I Spy (1960s TV series) always wore white sneakers. And they were my fashion icons.

What do you think of the Twitter accounts, which imagine Seinfeld in modern times?

I for one would love to see Kramer on Twitter. His analysis of human behaviour is amazing. Remember when he almost guessed George’s password just by analysing his character?!

What does a typical day off from work consist of for you?

It’s usually the kids and I will go get bagels and lox on a weekend. And then we’ll come home and eat them.