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SHONAL RAWAT
The best thing about living alone: It’s basically about starting life all over again. The excitement level is high. It’s also about the independence you get and along with it comes responsibility.
The worst thing about living alone: Missing home, the food and the comfort. It’s tough to suppress those urges.
Things you have learnt being on your own: I have learnt to be self-sufficient. You don’t have the back-up of blaming others for what you don’t get done. Whether it’s doing the laundry or paying your rent or dealing with the landlord.
How living alone has changed you: I have become more responsible. Now my parents often turn to me for advice, be it about family or finance. I don’t misuse my independence. Living alone has also helped me become hard-working. It has taught me to be patient and disciplined.
The flipside of being single in an unknown city: During times of hardships, you’re worried about how to get work and how to go about it and then you come back home emotionally drained. It takes time to settle down in a new city.
An unpleasant incident you’ve faced: It was difficult convincing the landlord to allow a girl to stay alone. There was a lot of confusion in drawing up the agreement. Finding a domestic help was difficult too and even when you do they don’t want to stick around for too long.
One wacky thing you did: I often run away to Goa in the weekends or have these mad slumber parties! I also do a lot of late nights in Mumbai which I know if I was doing in Calcutta, my mother would stay up all night even when I’m 40!
A few things one must remember when living alone: You have to be responsible for everything you do. You have to be practical and let go of emotions in order to survive. You should be careful about where you stay, your surroundings and even your friends. It’s also important to not do anything that might embarrass your parents.
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KONEENICA BANERJEE
The best thing about living alone: I have learnt to fight my own battle. Mumbai is very expensive and I can’t afford a domestic help. I have to do everything on my own. So, I can judge myself better now and I am more confident. Initially, I would call my sister for every little thing. In Calcutta, I would depend on my mom for everything. I would wait for someone to call me when I used to be alone. Now I don’t wait for anybody’s call.
The worst thing about living alone: You feel very lonely. I feel lonely even in a crowd. Mumbai is very competitive and to cope with it is very difficult. For me it was more difficult because I had tasted stardom in Calcutta and I had to start from scratch again. It’s tough to be patient all the time.
Things you have learnt being on your own: I have learnt to cook. I go grocery shopping and I have learnt how to run the house on a small budget. I have got into the habit of reading the newspaper regularly. I have become more disciplined.
How living alone has changed you: I used to be very shy before. I would keep to myself at parties in Calcutta. Now I have shed my inhibitions and I don’t sit in a corner at parties. I mingle with people. I daydream a lot too as I have a lot of me-time. I connect with my fans on Facebook and Orkut, which I never did before. I find ways to improve myself in my field.
The flipside of being single in an unknown city: I know if tomorrow I meet with an accident there’s nobody I can fall back on. Plus, there’s the issue of eve-teasing that I have to deal with regularly.
An unpleasant incident you’ve faced: I used to live as a paying guest when I first shifted to Mumbai. Oneday I realised my roommate was into a hideous profession and I was too scared to sleep at night. I would walk down to a nearby coffee shop and have several cups of black coffee so that I could stay up the night. Later, I moved into a rented apartment.
One wacky thing you did: I spent Rs 1 lakh on clothes and a whole lot of other things in just one evening at Lokhandwala!
A few things one must remember when living alone: Be disciplined, maintain a routine, eat and sleep well. Don’t go out of your way to achieve something in life.
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ROOPA GANGULY
The best thing about living alone: It gives me a lot of time for myself. You are not answerable to anyone. You can easily avoid things that you don’t want to do.
The worst thing about living alone: There’s no one to comfort you when you are low and you feel lost, or when you have a terrible headache in the middle of the night. There’s no one I can call after a hard day at work. Then maybe your dress has buttons in the back where your hands don’t reach.... Your pain only gets magnified when you are living alone.
Things you have learnt being on your own: I have learnt time management. Living alone has also made me more Net-savvy. I have learnt to take my medicines on time because I know there’s no one to remind me.
How living alone has changed you: It has made me a little weak perhaps. My loneliness reminds me of my age and my helplessness. It has made me so dependent on my domestic help. Plus, it has made me paranoid about my flat keys. I check my purse for the keys at least three-four times a day. I have a feeling that I will lose them.
The flipside of being single in an unknown city: One tends to become very vulnerable. You always have to be on your guard so that you don’t make yourself available and accessible to others.
An unpleasant incident you’ve faced: Once I was driving home from Madh Island after pack-up when my car stopped in the middle of the road. The cars behind me began honking frantically. I saw a couple of men coming towards me to help me push the car aside. When I got inside the car to fetch my phone, I found it missing. Those men had made off with my phone!
One wacky thing you did: Back in 1995, I lived in Mumbai for some time. It was just after the serial Mahabharata. My friend Shivram and I would drive down to Marine Drive and then to Haji Ali for the pineapple juice there. Often before boarding the 5.40am flight back home, I would drive down to Haji Ali for pineapple juice! Once I reached the airport from Haji Ali in 11 minutes flat.
A few things one must remember when living alone: Be careful about your car and house keys. It is safer to keep a set of keys with a close friend. There should be wall clocks in all the rooms of the house so that you are never late for work. Always keep some extra cash at home; hide it somewhere and use it only during an emergency. Always have the number of your best friend saved in your fixed dial.
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KOENA MITRA
The best thing about living alone: It makes you stronger, mature and more responsible. I started living on my own at a very young age. I came to Mumbai in 2003. I started taking care of every little thing on my own.
The worst thing about living alone: When you’re unwell or in a bad mood you miss your family and close ones. But I’m not a loner. I come back home to my seven dogs that I’ve had for over three years now. I’ve also made some wonderful friends here who are like family to me.
Things you have learnt being on your own: Everything. From cooking to cleaning the house to grooming my pets — I have learnt to do it all on my own. I had no choice.
How living alone has changed you: It has made me smarter. Living alone has only done good to me. When you are with your parents, you just come back home, drop your bag, and find your food, clothes and bed all ready. When I came to Mumbai I had no one to do that. Now I have a bigger place and house staff to take care of certain things. It was difficult initially.
The flipside of being single in an unknown city: If you don’t have work or you’re not earning enough, Mumbai can just eat you up. Lots of people come here just to party and have fun but it isn’t easy. For the past six years that I’ve been here I’ve seen so many people come to Mumbai and then pack their bags and leave in just six months. You have to earn enough to survive.
An unpleasant incident you’ve faced: It was when I had a kidney stone attack while shooting a film. My friends and members of the film unit rushed me to a nursing home. Neither could I see my parents nor could they see me. Situations like these, when you need your family but cannot see them or travel to them, are upsetting.
One wacky thing you have done: I walked from my house to the Siddhi Vinayak temple. It took me more than six hours to reach there and six hours to come back. I’ve also done crazy things like going biking or car racing in the middle of the night with my friends! I’ve also left town all of a sudden or driven all the way with friends to Churchgate, in southern Mumbai, to eat maska pao (buttered bread) at four in the morning. I know I couldn’t have done these things in Calcutta.
A few things one must remember when living alone: I lost my Bandra house four years ago in a fire. It happened because I would keep all the windows closed at all times. You must leave at least one window open when you go out, so that in case of a fire, immediate action can be taken. You live with your hard-earned money, so it’s important to take care of your belongings. During the monsoons, one must prevent the walls from getting damp to avoid short circuits and unless you have a domestic help you shouldn’t leave the house empty till midnight.
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SAYANTANI GHOSH
The best thing about living alone: You learn to be independent. At home you’re always sheltered by your family, so living alone lets you take on more responsibilities. You grow up.
The worst thing about living alone: No emotional support when you’re down and out. You tend to feel lonely at times when you have to face all your problems on your own.
Things you have learnt being on your own: I’ve learnt to handle my finances. My father does guide me over the phone but handling my cheques and getting the bank work done is something I’ve learnt. Also, things like planning my day, shopping for grocery and getting household work done.
How living alone has changed you: I value relationships more than before. You tend to take your parents and relatives for granted when you are close to them. You feel a void when you’re living alone. It has made me more dutiful towards them.
The flipside of being single in an unknown city: Safety is a major factor. An accident can happen anytime and no one might know. Also, men try to act funny when they know you live alone.
A few things one must remember when living alone: There’s no one to monitor you so you have to be responsible about everything, starting from your house keys to your maid. No one should be able to take advantage of you.
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RESSHMI GHOSH
The best thing about living alone: Living alone has made me independent. The first few months in Mumbai were difficult as I was very dependent on others in Calcutta. Here, I have learnt to tackle any problem. Living alone has also helped me have a mind of my own. Now I enjoy Mumbai. I travel a lot with my fiance Amit (Gupta) and eat out a lot.
The worst thing about living alone: I don’t like to come back to an empty house. The days when Amit works late I make it a point to return home when I know I will hit the bed as soon as I reach.
Things you have learnt being on your own: I am a better cook now. I invite my friends to my place and I manage fine! I have learnt to keep my room clean, I eat on time, follow a proper diet and never miss my workout. I pay my bills on time too.
How living alone has changed you: I have become more mature. I have also learnt that in times of trouble the only person I can depend on is me. I have gone through nasty situations, like the car breaking down in the middle of the road. Besides, I had this habit of blaming others for problems, which would create misunderstandings between Amit and me. I have stopped doing that. It’s a major change in me!
The flipside of being single in an unknown city: Loneliness, I guess. Amit cannot be there with me 24x7. Besides, I can’t speak Marathi and I think knowing the local language is very important.
An unpleasant incident you’ve faced: I would have unpleasant experiences every day initially. I didn’t have a car then and would travel by train. I was putting up with a relative and everyone knows how it is to put up with relatives. The distance between home and work was too much.
One wacky thing you did: Oh! There are a lot of things that Amit and I do, but I won’t want to talk about it. A few things one must remember when living alone: Never lose your cool. Don’t rely on anyone — be friendly with everyone but don’t be stupid. Be smart.
Once married, twice shy but cool and candid...
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DEBASREE ROY
You are single because... I am very wary about bonding with men. My man’s wavelength has to match with mine. That’s the first criterion. Besides, I would like to weigh the pros and cons before entering a relationship. I wouldn’t like to repeat past mistakes.
Are you choosy about men? Yes, I have become choosy and experienced. I have faced a lot in life. I have been through a marriage. I am careful now.
Do you get marriage proposals? Oh yes, I get a lot of marriage proposals but as I said earlier I am very choosy.... I take life as it comes. Besides, I am also a little scared about settling down. I won’t say that I will never get married again, but let life follow its own course.
Do you miss not having a man in your life? Yes, sometimes I do miss not having a man in my life. I feel like sharing a lot of things. I am aware of the need of a man in a woman’s life. But I don’t suffer from a sense of vacuum and neither do I feel isolated. It’s not a very big issue in my life. I have a few good friends.
Do men think single women are easily available? Not really. I don’t think people think Debasree Roy is easily available. It’s up to you — how you decide to live your life and how you maintain your dignity.
The advantage of not having a partner... (Laughs) Okay, I’m saying this only because I don’t have a man in my life! The advantage is that I am not answerable to anyone. Therefore there are less problems in my life. My thought process may not match my partner’s and there maybe problems because of that.
The disadvantage of not having a partner... There are many. Sometimes you need the support and advice of your partner. That doesn’t mean that I am weak or can’t take my own decisions. But there are times when you need someone by your side to say that whatever you are doing is right. Just the feeling that someone is there for you is important.
Does being single trigger rumours of multiple affairs? No, I don’t think that just because I am single people think I have lots of affairs. I don’t care much about what people say anyway. And link-ups? Oh, there have been lots and lots of them!
How do friends/family react to your single status? I have a few elderly relatives who insist that I should get married and they even ask me why I am not getting married. But my sisters, brothers and my mother are cool about it. They have never forced me into anything. My friends do tell me to get married but they don’t nag.
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SWASTIKA MUKHERJEE
You are single because... I cannot marry as I have marital issues to settle legally. But I do have someone in my life — Parambrata (Chattopadhyay).
Are you choosy about men? No, I am not. I am happy with my partner. It’s not easy for me to bond with men because I have a daughter and my man has to accept me along with my daughter. There are many who want to have a relationship with me... There’s the married lot who call up to say how unhappy their marriages are. And then there are those who feel that Swastika is a poor girl going through a lot in life and all they mean to say is ‘My shoulder is there, come baby cry!’ I avoid both.
Does being single trigger rumours of affairs? I think I have never given anyone the chance for rumours. I got married very early in life. I had an affair with someone for five years. Then Parambrata came into my life. I don’t have affairs for fun as I am a very emotional person.
Do you get marriage proposals? No, I don’t get marriage proposals maybe because of my celeb status. Also maybe because I am very open about my life. People know that I have separated from my husband and I am a single mother. So they think twice before proposing to me. A single mother is still a taboo in our society. But yes, men do chase me and I have got some really weird proposals. But I know how to ignore them. I pretend that I don’t understand what they are talking about and I just smile at them and leave the place!
Does your daughter want to see you married? She doesn’t want me to get married right now. She has accompanied me to the court quite a few times, so she understands that I am married but I don’t stay with my husband. She feels insecure as she thinks marriage means you have to leave home. She doesn’t want my sister to marry either. She was paranoid the day she came to know that my mother was married to my father. But we make it a point to talk about my marriage in front of her.
How do you feel about being single in the city? Tell t2@abpmail.com
