I have a confession. I am addicted to online quizzes. Yes, I am ashamed about it. No, I haven’t stopped taking them. Yes, I’ve stopped sharing the results on Facebook.

Anyone who accesses Facebook even once a day will know what I am talking about and would have either cursed people for spamming their timelines with the results of quizzes from Zimbio or Survley, or cursed them for getting them addicted to those quizzes in the first place. Then there are those who read Buzzfeed and cannot let a single “what…are you?”, “where should you…?”, “how much of a…?” tagline pass, and each of them adds a character analysis in the end.

You know they are inane and completely unscientific, but they are so much fun that you just cannot help clicking the “start the quiz” button. You take them while travelling on the Metro, at work, at home, even while you are waiting somewhere for your friend or at movie intervals. After a while you realise that your homepage has more quiz results than status updates and you stop posting the results before people start questioning your mental health.

There are quizzes for everyone — the bookworm, the movie buff, the television addict, the music lover, the fashionista, the romantic, the pragmatist, the geek, the ambitious, the wannabe globetrotter, the fangirl, the yuppie, the hipster — yes, everyone. And if you fall into more than three of the categories you can rest assured that the amount of time you spend taking the quizzes will be anything between significant and obscene.

The results of the quizzes can take you through a gamut of emotions from “bleh” to “yesss!” and from “no way!” to “wtf”. You only post results of those quizzes that give you your desired result. So, you pretend that you never saw your friend’s “Which Harry Potter house should you be in?” post because when you tried it you got Hufflepuff and not Gryffindor, as you hoped, or Slytherin which would have been cool.

Here are some of the quizzes I am addicted to on Facebook (usually via Zimbio and Survley) or Buzzfeed:

FOR THE BOOKWORM

What kind of book are you? (Survley): It tells you what genre of book you are, whether you are thriller, fantasy/sci-fi, mystery, humour.... after you answer just five questions like how long you tend to read, what you are looking for when you read, what profession you think would best suit you. My result? Humour. Apparently I “love to laugh at life, and if possible, get others to laugh along with you. You believe there’s always a humorous side to everything. And your sense of humour ranges from upbeat to very dark….”

Which Jane Austen hero is your soulmate? (Buzzfeed): Everyone I know took this test and everyone wanted only one answer, Mr. Darcy. But, of course, not all were successful. You have to after all make some very important choices, from picking your ideal date, to your ideal honeymoon destination, your favourite cry face (!) and even your favourite direwolf and favourite hashtag. But what, I think, clinched the deal for me (of course I got Mr. Darcy!) was identifying the pair of breeches correctly. Harrrrumph!

FOR THE GEEK

Which Game of Thrones house do you belong in? (Zimbio): You will have to eliminate a season, choose a king’s top priority, choose what kind of disaster movie you’d like to star in, what you are ready to do to get your way, and so on and so forth. Sigh! I got the Wall and ice zombies. Yes, I am part of the Night’s Watch, drat!

Which Superhero team should you join? (Buzzfeed): I got what, I think, everyone wants right now, which is The Avengers, but I’d like to be part of the Justice League, because Batman is the coolest. I have a feeling if I chose the “less crime” option in the “if you could change one thing about the world, what would it be” option instead of “less fear” I would have got what I wanted.

FOR THE MOVIE BUFF

Which Quentin Tarantino film are you? (Buzzfeed): Here you will have to choose a sport, what you are doing on a Sunday morning, what you would call someone who says Jaws sucks (you get to choose from the choicest of abuses, if you know your Tarantino movies, you will know which one to choose for what film *winks*) and even choose a Quentin Tarantino face!

Which Zoolander character are you? (Zimbio): It asks you to choose whether you are ridiculously good looking, why you would be most likely to get fired, describe your living situation and what kind of model you are. I got Hansel, “I am so hot right now”, and even though I “may not always know what you are talking about no one is going to argue with someone so damn awesome.”

FOR THE MUSIC LOVER

What type of music are you? (Survley): You have to answer six multiple choice questions about what kind of music you listen to, what kind of jewellery you wear, what kind of physical activity you like and what kind of pants you would wear on a friend’s evening out. And it will tell you you are the kind of music you definitely never listen to!

Which summer music festival should you go to? (Zimbio): Is your priority at a concert having the best view of the stage, dancing, chilling with friends or the mosh pit? Would you rather have a craft beer, Jack Daniel’s, a taco, oyster or a Chicago dog? How sensitive are you to heat? Answer “honestly” and you will know which festival you should plan your next vacation around.

postscript

Over and above all these quizzes are those which you have no idea why you are taking, like what your signature drink should be (no, what you like to drink does not matter), what is your spirit flower (I have no idea what I would do with that knowledge, but I took it anyway, and I am not even anything exotic!), or what cheese are you, or how broke are you and are you having a productive day (like taking a quiz to find out doesn’t defeat the purpose). If you still want more you could shift to multiple personality questions like which J-Law are you and which Carrie Bradshaw are you, or shift to nostalgia mode by finding out which ’90s band you are or which ’80s TVserials you belong to.

So, get quizzing!

Chandreyee Chatterjee

Are you addicted to online quizzes? Tell us why at t2@abp.in