IT’S OKAY TO BE DEPRESSED... AND SAY IT OUT LOUD
“It seems to me that the years between 18 and 28 are the hardest, psychologically,” Helen Mirren had said in an interview. I am 27 and, of late, I have been a little out of sorts. I have a lot going on inside my head, one moment I am laughing, the next I break down. I wondered if I had been going into depression… I have Googled the symptoms and wondered if I am having a nervous breakdown (Kanye West landing up in hospital with a meltdown scared me no end!). I have pondered visiting a psychologist to get back my peace of mind. But I always wanted to keep it a secret because I wanted to avoid the questions. 

I am an extrovert by nature, but an introvert when it comes to personal things and keeping that in mind I never discussed my problems with anyone. But after Dear Zindagi, I realised it is probably okay to be depressed, get hurt and to discuss it with someone who really cares and tell them that, ‘No, I am not fine’.

Dear Zindagi is a film and not a definite parameter to follow... but its lessons did make me ponder.

“Khul ke ro nahin sakogi toh khul kar hans kaise paogi?” — Sometimes we are too harsh on ourselves or are let down by others. We get hurt, cry silently and shut ourselves completely from the world. If you are hurt, cry out loud, speak out and let it be clear what bothered you, bring it all out and breathe easy, even if it’s for a while.

Enjoy and pay attention to little things — There’s a lot of latent joy in there. It always isn’t about who is splurging money on you by buying you jewellery or a handbag… there can be immense love and happiness in just a flower or maybe in watching the sunset in winter or just a sudden hug.

Letting go of mistakes — There won’t be a dearth of people letting you down time and again or friends hurting you. At times you should just let it go and not hold on to it. Many a time, it’s easier to choose the simple way of ignoring things for your mental peace.

The five people who matter — While Alia thought about hers, I made a checklist about the most important five people in my life. It was difficult in the beginning but thinking about people who are always there for you when you are in a crisis made the selection easy and simple. Questions were answered.

Pramita Ghosh

KAIRA IS ME... SRK IS DADDY!
Alia Bhatt in Dear Zindagi is me. In fact, she’s every older child who, growing up, faces a degree of ‘love loss’ from the parents. And while many may criticise Doc Jehangir Khan’s “DD” skills, I was there for the SRK magic. SRK looking totally yummers pulled me to the hall. So much so that I offered paying for the tickets (needless to say, my boyfriend was VERY surprised)!

Two things worked for me in the film — first a character in a Bolly film who chooses his head over his heart… in the final scene when he realises he HAS developed feelings for her. Second, SRK played his age. There was no more of the romancing a girl half his age. None of the Photoshopped wrinkles. But there it was, the SRK dimple, making so many appearances through his little-salt-mostly-pepper beard. Oh, and must I say that while my LOVE for SRK was PG-13 until now, it’s moved up notches to an ‘A’ rating. He’s grown to be ‘Daddy’ material. No, silly, I don’t mean the father-daddy but, well, *wink * . Dear Daddy, welcome!

Riddhima Khanna

NO SUCH THING AS TOO GROWN UP
We all have had our ‘Kaira’ phase at some point in life. Being someone who obsessively chases perfection and along with it the idea of ‘happiness’, watching Kaira’s discomfort and unease with life, for me, was just like standing in front of the mirror. Moving cities, changing jobs, taking up new hobbies, running, dancing, cooking and what not, we’ve tried it all, yet the whole pressure of not being enough somehow never ceases to exist. The dreams, oh the many dreams, too! The fear of goodbyes which almost always take away all the necessary ‘hellos’ from life.

Dear Zindagi was like the breath of fresh air every 24-year-old like me needs at the moment. Just the reassurance that you do not need to have it all together always, and sometimes not knowing where to start from or what to do can also be a damn comfortable chair to sit on, as it gives you the hope and promise of a new beginning! #NoSuchThingAsTooGrownUp 

Zeba Akhtar

LET’S TALK 
Sometimes, all we need is someone to talk to. I live through a million problems, struggles and insecurities in my head and heart every day and quite often, all I need is someone to just pour it out to. And it need not be a ‘hot’ therapist like Jug. I lost my patience midway through Dear Zindagi — it was waaaaay too long and my popcorn tub had emptied out by minute 120 — but its little moments did make me think. Like how it’s okay to just lose it sometimes; like how it’s okay to try out multiple “chairs” before you settle on one… and not only when it comes to choosing a partner; like how you should let it all out sometimes, even if it means losing a few friends and family in the process. And how it’s important to just talk… even if the conversation simply comforts you, but does little else. I have close to 1,200 friends on Facebook, but I am still waiting for that one friend to talk to.

Priyanka Roy

THE CONTRARIAN 
I’m not sure why but I entered the cinema hall with great expectations to watch Dear Zindagi. Maybe because everyone was raving about Alia’s acting and SRK’s charm. But for me, the movie seemed as vague as some of the dialogues in it (we are all teachers in the school of life or something along those lines). Kaira was whiny more than anything else and I’m not sure how I feel about people who are that jumpy and bubbly but what I do know is that I like to stay away from them in real life. But in her character I did find similarities with myself (I’m super whiny too, especially in my head).

Coming to SRK — he was muted and although very flamboyant, filmi and too good to be true, his Jug was the one thing (apart from the array of extremely hot men; good to see Kunal Kapoor back on screen) that was the reedeeming factor for me (I may be biased). I’m not sure whether Dear Zindagi should be lauded for being India’s first film on mental health but I definitely feel the premise of the story could be handled better, given that Shinde’s English Vinglish was such a winner. 

Deborima Ganguly