Are looks the first thing men notice in a woman?

For sure.

After the looks, what else do men look for in a woman?

After the looks, it is all about connecting. I think if a woman is humourous, intelligent, good-looking and charming, men will definitely go gaga over her.

What is the first thing you look for in a man?

While growing up, I always had crushes on good-looking male friends and screen idols. Now I feel I am too mature to give emphasis to looks. Today, I am looking for someone with personality and character. A man I can converse with. All good-looking men are not dumb; but by and large, the good-looking ones tend to be.

Is marriage a scary institution?

It depends. If I marry someone it will be with the idea that he is going to be my companion for life — a person who I can look up to in more ways than one.

What if your man slips up and confesses to you?

I will have a heart attack; but I will deal with it.

So you won’t leave your man?

It will depend on how much I love him.

Are you prepared for this kind of an eventuality?

Yeah. At the subconscious level, everyone lives with this possibility turning into a reality.

Can a man love two women at the same time?

Yes. For that matter, even a woman could. My mother told me that you connect with different people in different ways. It may not always lead to something physical. A relationship which lasts for long could transcend into love. And you don’t want to lose that person because he has become a part of your life.

Do you think that all platonic relationships carry the possibility of physical love?

Yes. If you go back to Adam and Eve, a man and woman are supposed to satisfy each other’s mental as well as sexual needs. But finally, it depends on the two individuals.

Do you like to be pampered by men?

I guess so, every girl does. If she denies it, she is lying.

Do you think using your sexuality to your advantage is okay?

I think it is wrong to use your sexuality to get somewhere. But I completely understand women who do so because they either need the money or probably they are super ambitious. I am very comfortable with the way I am right now even though I am not doing certain films, which other people are, for reasons that are best left alone. It’s not like I have no work. Besides, I have a life apart from movies. I have a family to come back to and friends too.

Do you have any issues which you can’t discuss with your dad because he is a man?

Let’s say, I can discuss everything with my mother. I guess a woman-to-woman understanding is on a different plane. As for my father, I can definitely tell him a lot more things than I can tell other males around me. There are things which my dad knows I have discussed with my mom but he doesn’t bring them up with me.

Do men have a tendency to ask a woman about her past?

I think they play it cool but they are very inquisitive. And at some point, they do ask.

Do you think it is a good idea to tell them?

I think two people in a relationship should take a conscious decision to avoid talking about their individual pasts. I have a lot of things in my life which no one knows about. There are things I may tell my best friend but not my husband.

Do you beautify yourself to seek male attention or for yourself?

I don’t beautify myself when I am not shooting. I just don’t have the energy or inclination. I don’t even bother to brush my hair at home. My sister and my parents go mad because I am always lounging in my shorts and tee at home.

How would you react if a man were to raise his hand on you?

I would slap him back.

What is your opinion on the way men misuse new technology like camera phones?

I think camera phones should be banned because in India people don’t know how to use them. I think invasion of privacy is invading our civil rights. It is terrible and there is nothing personal left in anyone’s life which is ridiculous.

What would the world be without men?

Incomplete.

So your experiences with men have not embittered you?

I don’t hate men. Whether it is my father, friends or colleagues at work, I think that there are as many good people out there in the world as there are bad.

Dinesh Raheja

(Bollywood News Service)