Vece Paes

“I just wipe their tears when they are in trouble”

Being Leander’s father has been a roller-coaster ride. He was a very excitable, aggressive child. At the age of three, he was crawling around the house at top speed, like one of those motorised toys, bumping his head into a wall! Then he started swimming at the age of five. He was fearless in the water. He nearly drowned three-four times, but he never shied away. At seven or eight, he started playing football seriously. It is just that he had convulsions at nine and we had to take him off contact sport. That’s when tennis came in. A lot of people thought I was doing the wrong thing by allowing him to grow in that mould. But I felt if he was allowed to express himself, he would develop self-confidence. He has become a great guy. He has also become a famous tennis player, which gives us relief as after all that effort you need to be successful. He is a great son.

In his speed and aggression, he is like his mom. In the tactical side of it, he is a lot like me. He responds under pressure in a quiet, cold way. The great thing about Leander is that he is the best when he is in a crisis. He gets pragmatic. He plans things out and looks at it coldly. And that’s the amazing part about it.

I did not interfere with his tennis. I did help him with his fitness and his attitude to the game. The scary thing is, if you do too much of coaching then they start hating you. When he loses, I feel that’s when he needs my attention. When he wins, he has enough people to celebrate with. A few days ago (after Leander and Mahesh Bhupathi lost the Queen’s Club Grass Court Doubles finals), I texted him and told him, “Bad luck but a great warm for the Wimbledon.”

One knows the amount of talent and athleticism he had. One is thrilled with what he has achieved in Davis Cup and doubles. He was the number one in juniors. Leander had the talent to be the number one in seniors, he did not achieve it because of certain technical problems. That’s probably the disappointing thing. The coaches should have picked it up earlier and covered those technical sides, instead of just depending on his athleticism.

As of now, he is playing till the London Olympics and one tries to re-motivate him because although he has got other options like TV commentary, acting… but I still think you should keep on doing what you are best at, as long as he can. As long as he stays fit… two months ago when we were discussing retirement, I told him, ‘Just remember, it is like shutting a door. You cannot come back. And because the game is moving on so fast, if you come back after six months, you cannot handle it.’

His decision to act surprised us as it is not in our culture and our mindset. When we asked him why, he said, I live in Mumbai and acting is the biggest profession in Mumbai, the biggest career option. So, we said why not as long as you take it seriously.

When asked, I do tell all my three kids (Jacqueline, Maria and Leander) what’s right. When they do something, I don’t react. I just wipe their tears when they are in trouble.

Sourav Ganguly

“I want her to grow up like a normal kid”

Sana is the best thing about being a dad. She is so mature at nine that I am amazed. She gives me ideas and lectures, and at times they are so sensible! She is brilliant. When I am upset, she is sometimes actually better to the ear than her mom (Dona) and that surprises me (smiles). I give her a lot of time now. I enjoy it. I pamper her a lot, too. I pamper everyone… I am that sort of a person who gives everyone space. Aami kaukei boki na (I don’t scold anyone). Somebody needs to be strict and her mother (Dona) is strict enough. Nowadays, I read storybooks to put her to sleep every night. Her latest collection is Gopal Bhanr’s storybooks. Sana likes watching television, mostly cartoons, and she is also on my iPad a lot, playing games. Sometimes, I have to take it away from her because I don’t want her to get stuck to the TV or the iPad. I want her to do other things in life — whether it is sports or singing or dancing — so that she uses her time properly. She loves sports and she actually participates with me in football and cricket. She used to play tennis, but now she does not want to anymore. I can make out that she is a sporty girl, and not just because she is my daughter. She is very good in athletics. In school, with due respect to all, she beats everyone by miles. She is skinny and tall so she is quick. Will she take up sports? We’ll see. I want her to study first. I want her to grow up like a normal kid.

Raghavendra Rathore

“One of the best things is seeing a little bit of yourself in your children”

Both my little brats, Amar, 7, and Devyani, 3, are well brought up. Amar is a good sportsman and a good bowler. He is extremely articulate. As for Devyani, as we speak, she is making cupcakes. She is more creative. She is the only girl amongst her many cousins, so she’ll have to be a tough cookie! But they have learnt how to live in a traditional landscape, which was my main concern. Kids today seem so faraway and removed. But they have done fine and I am happy.

One of the best things about being a dad is seeing a little bit of yourself in your children. Have I perceived an interest in fashion in them? Yes, I see creativity in Devyani. But it is too early to push them. They understand what fashion is all about. For example, Amar is very conscious of what he wears. He is into colognes and is very particular about his shoes! But I would like them to be individuals rather than mould them into something. My dream for them, as a father, is for them to understand the value of everything around them and respect people. We (my wife Kavita and I) like to treat our kids like adults. And they are a part of all our dinner table conversations.

K Onler Kom

“I did not even know how to put on Huggies but I learnt”

Mary (Kom, five times World Boxing Champion) and I married with one agreement — that she should be taken care of. She did not have anyone to guide, advise or motivate her. It wasn’t time for her to get married. She was only 25. So it was a challenge for me that I would not let her fail. I would do anything to let her achieve her dreams. Even being a father, although it is very difficult! I have to send our three-year-old twins, K Rechungvar and K Khupneivar, to school and make their tiffin, which is not usually a man’s job. But it is a support to Mary and I have to do it. Initially, I did not even know how to put on Huggies but I learnt. It is my duty. I am the father and I have to do it.

(When Mary is out playing tournaments) she calls me twice everyday to find out how the kids are doing. When our son (K Khupneivar) had a surgery in May, she was very sad and did not want to go for the Asian Cup in China. I took it up as a challenge. I asked her to forget about it and that she was doing this for the nation. I convinced her. I was crying inside, but I never let my tears show, as that would have made Mary sadder. My son was lying in the ICU... about to be operated upon. It wasn’t easy. But every situation is about controlling your mind.

I want to make our kids good human beings and they should trust god. They should learn how to respect others and be good citizens.

Bhaichung Bhutia

“The smile on my kids’ faces gives me a lot of happiness”

The best thing about being a dad is seeing my twins (Ugen Kalzang and Keisha Dolkar, one year and four months old) smiling, laughing and playing after a good night’s sleep. As a father, the smile on my kids’ faces gives me a lot of happiness. I sometimes bathe them. I’ve scarcely had time to spend with them… out of one year and four months, I have only been with them for four months. So waking up early in the morning with them when they are in the best of moods… with a wonderful smile and hug makes my day. My son is very outgoing, he plays with everyone. My daughter is reserved, she only likes to be with Madhuri (wife). My daughter is completely like me! I just want them to be happy, do what they want in their lives and fulfil their dreams.

As told to Saionee Chakraborty

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