I am a 29-year-old single mother with a 5-year-old kid. My husband and I separated four years ago. Over the last six months I got close to one of my colleagues and now he wants to marry me. I think marriage will complicate my life even more. I want to end the relationship but he doesn’t. I’m happy when with him but guilty about my son. I am getting depressed. Please help.
Priyani, Calcutta
Depressed? Beggars can’t be choosers. Thank the Lord and Buddhadeb, that a man still wants to marry you: most men are afraid of marrying single women and here comes a guy who wants to marry someone who comes across as a package and you are still hesitant? Who are you waiting for? Johnny Depp or for Uttam Kumar to be resurrected? Cut your losses and this is the best you’ll ever get. And as for your son, forget the guilt: he’ll be happy he has a Dad or at least one other person who can pay his bills.
My friend’s spoilt her reputation in school. The teachers are counting me among the bad students too because I hang out with her. They’ve even advised me to avoid her. I don’t want to lose her or my reputation. Help.
Name and address withheld
Decide what you want to lose, love. It is better to lose your friend than your reputation. Friends you will always have: we are after all a country of 1.2 billion people but reputations are easily destroyed. Even Manmohan Singh has a terrible reputation thanks to the dark-glassed Karunanidhi so my advice would be dump the friend and save your reputation. You will be happier darling!
I am a 20-year-old woman in a relationship for over two years. My boyfriend says he is confused about his feelings for me. But I’m sure that he loves me a lot. What should I do to make him realise his love for me?
Name and address withheld
Nothing: and he is not confused. He is very clear he wants to be IN a relationship but doesn’t want to marry you. So don’t fool yourself with that silly concept called love: there is no love. He is treating this relationship as toothpaste: it is a habit but when this tube finishes, he will get another tube but never switch brands. Got it love?
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: aakolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 98309 93132
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org
Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts
HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)
Sparsha
AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)
Pronam
38/1, Beltala Road,Calcutta - 19
Senior Citizen’s Emergency
Co-ordination Control Room
Ph: 2419 0740
