I love my friend’s girlfriend very much. She likes me but is too loyal to ever break up. She spends more time with me than him. What do I do?

Name and address withheld

Nothing son. Prepare to become the Pope and be moral or else be human and just go for it. If you love her and believe she loves you, then just ask for her hand or her body or whatever it is you are looking for. Look son, this whole moral thing is of no use. You are already harbouring evil thoughts about her so why this pretence? As for her, loyalty is time-bound. With time, she will lose that, so help her lose it and find yourself true love.

I am 16 and studying for IIT-JEE. I have been in a relationship for four months and now feel that continuing with my girl is not letting me concentrate on my preparations.

Name and address withheld

A girl in hand is better than being in IIT: most of the blokes who get into the IITs also don’t study or cannot concentrate because they are busy chasing the few women around. And even if someone looks like Mayawati, the whole damn campus (including the director) would be chasing her. You don’t seem the type who is going to change the world so why bother about an IIT degree and in any case it is people like me, the honest tax-payers, who subsidise your IIT education so that you can flee to America when you are done. I’d be happier if you found lust rather than the Statue of Liberty.

I am in a relationship and want to spend my life with this girl who likes to flirt on social networking sites. I gave her permission to go ahead with it. However, it’s crossing the limit now and I feel hurt. Help.

Name and address withheld

Flirt on social networking sites? You are about to get hitched to a sexual volcano and not some silly woman so bear the consequences in mind. If you are fine with seeing your woman out with another man every night while you watch The Newshour with me on it, then go ahead. If you want a real woman, dump this woman and look for another. Trust me, no man has ever survived a female volcano. They either get burnt or buried under a mountain of ash!

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: aakolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 98309 93132
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)

Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)

Pronam

38/1, Beltala Road,Calcutta - 19
Senior Citizen’s Emergency
Co-ordination Control Room
Ph: 2419 074