I am a 28-year-old man belonging to a conservative family. My wife is still a student in a reputed college in Calcutta. However, I am appalled at the way she behaves amongst her friends, especially the men. The use of vulgar language and sexual innuendos is rampant. Moreover , she even talks to me in the same tongue and her friends too poke fun at me. Whenever I confront her she says it’s only normal. How should I deal with this?

Name and address withheld

Look son this is the way of the world. Right now she is only using foul language, the next day you will find her sleeping with someone and this all depends on which college she is going to. I went to some fine colleges and we never took advantage (or encouraged) the boudis but times have changed: you have two options: tell her to give up her education or better still complain to Mamatadi and see how this woman starts behaving herself when threatened with jail somewhere near Malda. This is the only way son. I feel sad for you but the truth is your wife has fled the coop as it were. All you can do is enter a life of joyous mourning.

I am attracted to my older cousin. I fantasise about her whenever she is not around and then feel mortified when I meet her. I feel ashamed of myself but can’t control the way I feel. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

I have always maintained incest is best. There is nothing more romantic, more erotic and more dangerous than having these kind of feelings. Besides, it always stays in the family then. So stop worrying and enjoy this moment. It will never come back because you are suddenly not going to see a proliferation of cousins so be happy with what you have and savour it for posterity. Just don’t get caught please or else you will write to me again.

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous

(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)