I am a 26-year-old man. I quit my education after Class 12 because my family was not able to finance my studies. My girlfriend is highly educated and she is now forcing me to pursue my studies along with her in a different state. I cannot really afford the college where she has applied. This is becoming very embarrassing for me. What should I do? I don’t want any sympathy for being poor.

Name and address withheld

Just tell your girlfriend that you have decided to be like Bill Gates and that you believe a college education is a waste of time and instead you wish to follow in the footsteps of Anna Hazare and bring about an awakening of the Indian people. Tell her that formal education is for clerks and not for those who are geniuses. Tell her about all the great men who after going to college messed things up and mention names such as George W Bush and Jyoti Basu. Hopefully, the cow will fall for your drivel: if she doesn’t, there are plenty of women in India who will, so dump her and get onto another woman. Things are never as bad as they seem to be.

I am a 20-year-old guy. I dream of making it big in life. It is all I think about day and night. Towards this end I have taken up various courses of education. I am studying for a Cost Accounting degree as well as the IAS entrance. What would you suggest I select as my future career? Both these options are extremely tempting to me and I just can’t make up my mind.

Name and address withheld

You will make more money if you join the IAS whereas if you become a cost accountant you will be counting other people’s money. So take the call son. Wouldn’t you rather be rich yourself than be a sod accounting for other people’s money. You can of course always become a chartered accountant but then I will once again reserve my views on that noble profession lest they again get their knickers in an eternal twist!

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25, Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous

(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)

Now you can join the fan page Suhel Seth’s Survival Strategies
Column on Facebook and also tweet your comments/questions to him (@suhelseth) on Twitter