I have recently completed my graduation and taken admission in a civil service institution. I want to be a policeman like my father. But my father does not like the idea. He thinks it is an extremely strenuous and difficult job. He also believes that I am not capable of handling something as demanding as police work. How can I make him understand?

Name and address withheld

Just tell him about the other perks then. Tell him as a cop you can arrest frail people like Anna Hazare early in the morning. Tell him as a cop, you can help people disappear from railway tracks; tell him as a cop you can sit in your office and pretend an encounter happened where you killed a dreaded criminal. Tell him as a cop you can also become President of the Cricket Association of Bengal; tell him as a cop you will never ever pay for your food at Mocambo; you will never ever pay for your clothes or your drink or your child’s education. Tell him as a cop, even the La Martiniere principal will shiver at your sight. So these are all the easy things. You don’t have to be honest or for that matter hard-working. That is so lower middle class. Once you’ve told him all that, then write to me son.

I am an 18-year-old boy. I haven’t yet been to a nightclub. Is it really that big a deal?

Name and address withheld

It is a very big deal. Nightclubs are special places.There will be some amazingly loud music and therefore you will have no need to talk to the cow you’ve arrived with. You can be dressed in rags and the next thing you know is a tobacco company will invite you to a fashion week they may sponsor. You could also use nightclubs for research: see how people behave when they are sober and how well they behave when they are drunk. It will also give you superb insights into adultery and the art of throwing up. So son, you are missing a lot. Rush to your nearest nightclub now!

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)

Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)

Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous

(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)