COVER CAPER: Women’s fashion magazines regularly bombard you with the most clich?d lifestyle rhetoric

The cover lines on the front of women’s magazines get more ludicrous every time I look. You know the ones I mean: “Detox your relationship in 60 seconds”; “Look 10 years younger for the price of a bag of crisps”; “How to find a man in your tea break”; “Is your hairstyle making you fat?”

I was sitting in the doctor’s surgery the other day and one jumped out at me: “How to stand”, it read. What? Have our lives become so sedentary that able-bodied adults just can’t be bothered to get up any more?

For a moment, I wondered whether surrealists have taken over magazine publishing (or would that be the work of an existentialist?). Then I remembered seeing Elizabeth Hurley at a charity function a couple of weeks ago. If standing were an Olympic event, she’d take gold every time. If she had a CV, it would read “Responsibilities in Current Position: Standing really, really well”. She’s a total stunner, of course, but neither as skinny nor as tall as you’d imagine. As soon as the flashbulbs started going, however, she positioned her body in such a way that made her instantly slinkier and taller.

The Hurley stance takes seconds to assume, but years to perfect. The upper body faces the camera full frontal, but the hips must not. Arms must be moved away from the torso slightly and twisted outwards so that elbow crooks are facing forward. Feet are hip-width apart, but not parallel, as one leg is placed behind the other. The head must be lowered a touch (it makes eyes look bigger) and lips parted slightly (for obvious reasons), otherwise grin (not too hard, mind, or there will be too many expression lines). Finally, allow your thigh to peek through the split in your dress. That last move is subject to copyright law, so you can only do that in the privacy of your own home or if you actually are Elizabeth Hurley.

I know, I know ? most of us have more important things to do than practise posing, and where on earth would we all use our stances? At the bus stop? In the checkout queue? I’m afraid, though, if you’re thinking about updating your wardrobe this winter, posture will have to be a consideration.

If you’ve spent the summer flopping around in gipsy skirts and kaftan tops, you’ll need a refresher course in how to stand up straight. This winter’s tailored, high-heeled look will not work with a slouch. I’m not about to recommend walking around your house with a book on your head, but deportment is key if you are even thinking about wearing a pencil skirt ? which I am. Though many labour under the illusion that good posture involves sticking your chest out and holding your head high, the key to giving a good overall silhouette is actually in the stomach.

Your abdominal area is your powerhouse,” says Daphne Pena Higgs, owner of the NY Pilates Studio in London, where the fashionisti go to get waists. “Once your core muscles are strengthened and functioning as they should, everything else will start to fall into place.”

It’s not just sit-ups that get your middle in shape. Unless you are a dancer or a yoga bunny, you need fine-tuning. A good Pilates instructor or a small Pilates class (I wouldn’t put my faith in a large class as a good instructor will observe each of her students very closely) will put you on the right track.

If you can’t get a professional to show you ? which I can’t recommend enough ? then try by yourself. The core muscles are the ones around your middle, but this is not simply about sucking your belly in. To get an idea of the muscles you are trying to fire up, lie on your back, place your hands just above your hipbones and cough.

You’ll feel the muscles contract deep below the surface of your tummy. Once you have located them ? Daphne helped me ? you will find it easy to engage them. The struggle then will be to stop yourself from getting a whole new waist-enhancing wardrobe.