 |
Dear Julia: I’m getting married this August, and I’m concerned that my guests will abuse social media during the wedding. What if they tweet and post Facebook updates about it? I want them watching me, not their BlackBerrys! Should I post a notice outside the church? Should I confiscate their phones like Prince William and Kate Middleton did? Why don’t people realise that using social media at weddings is inappropriate? — Not a @Bridezilla
Dear @Bridezilla: Yeah, yeah, it’s your day and all, but frankly, you sound really close-minded — and sort of @Cranky.
First of all, stop thinking of your guests like paparazzi with Wi-Fi, ready to tweet out a photo of your wedding dress to the tabloids. Ostensibly you like these people, and treating them like children or criminals isn’t the answer.
Social media wedding rules haven’t been codified, so expecting everyone to know “what is appropriate” is ridiculous. There IS no appropriate yet! It’s up to you to let your guests know — in a non-condescending manner, please — how you would like them to behave.
Send out a polite, good-humoured email to your favourite tweet-happy guests that you’d prefer they set their phones to “airplane mode” during your wedding day. Reinforcing that with a (funny) sign outside your ceremony is pushing it, but if you’re dead-set on ensuring compliance, probably a necessity, as the tech-obsessed set is notorious for their ADD when it comes to anti-sharing decrees.
That said — and I cannot emphasise this enough — if you neglect to use humour in these directives, you’ll come across like the Wicked Witch of the World Wide Web, and they will rebel, or worse, send you 35 used toasters off of eBay for your wedding gift as punishment for your prehistoric, draconian ways.
And no, unless you are marrying royalty or George Clooney (is there a difference?), you may not “confiscate their phones.” Bridezilla, please!
You know, instead of caterwauling over the whole thing like a Luddite Emily Post harpy (“Don’t do this! Don’t do that! Hand over your cellular device, Grandma!”), why don’t you focus on how — with the proper guidelines — social media can enhance your wedding?
Because, trust me, it can:
1. Remember when weddings had disposable cameras at each table? LOL, neither do I! Now you can establish a joint Flickr site so everyone can upload their candids. That way, instead of one photographer, you have 150 for the price of ... well, the whole wedding.
2. Especially for destination or multiday affairs, creating a GroupMe account — in which one text can be sent to the phone numbers of everyone in your wedding party (and they can “reply to all”) — is a brilliant logistical solution.
3. Instead of banning it, embrace tweeting in an official manner. Appoint your most clever friend “Tweeter of Honour,” and instruct him or her to livetweet the event in humourous, witty or sentimental 140-character bits. Create a custom hashtag, like #NatalieChrisWed2011 so all wired guests can enjoy the day’s tweets. Later you can aggregate them in a feed, and print them out for posterity. Your kids will love it — or roll their eyes. Probably both.
4. Set up a social media station at the reception, complete with laptop and a big monitor scrolling through those hashtagged tweets. Inspire guests to type out answers to questions like, “What should we name our ungrateful future children?” “Any great marriage advice?” or “How soon should we start couples therapy?”
See? If you’re not so uptight, social media can be fun! I read one blog advising the bride not to “update her status” during the ceremony. Listen, it’s YOUR wedding. You can whip your iPhone out of your garter if you like! Just pretend the saying is: “Something old, something new, something electronic, something blue.”
Dear Julia: I’m having a destination wedding in Australia. Understandably, many of my friends and family cannot attend. What can I do to include them in my special day? — Far Away Bride
Dear Far Away: Hooray! The Internet can help! You can now Livestream your wedding so anyone, anywhere, can watch, well, live, without even changing out of their PJs. Check out http://www. ustream.tv/, http://livevows.com/ or http://webcastmywedding.net/ for packages — and send me the link. I want to watch, too!
