When Shabana Azmi threw a dinner party at home on February 2 to bring in Mona Kapoor’s birthday this year, practically all of us in the room knew that this would perhaps be her last birthday. Although privy to her delicate and deteriorating condition, Mona Kapoor was far too close a friend for any of us to tweet or talk about the disease that was slowly winding up her life (when the cancer was detected last April/May, it was already too late). The immense goodwill she had collected over 15 years was evidenced when her condition was written about in a Mumbai tabloid only 10 days before she passed away. Until then everybody else gave her the privacy she deserved. The low profile editor of the tabloid had wanted to feature Mona on the front page on Breast Cancer Day but when she said “no”, her wish was respected. The paper never once mentioned her illness right until she died last Sunday.

What has been annoying is the way almost the entire media has been referring to Mona Kapoor as Boney Kapoor’s ex or first wife, in the process acknowledging Sridevi as his lawfully wedded wife. However, the truth is that Mona was always the only official, legal wife of Boney Kapoor because they were never divorced. Estranged, yes. Divorced, no. It was proved when Boney performed all the last rites, stood like a pillar by Arjun and Anshula, his two children from Mona and the prayer meeting notice in all the papers clearly stated, “Mona Kapoor, wife of Boney Kapoor”. Sridevi and Boney may have gone through a ceremony in Chennai and she may have shouted from the rooftops that he was her husband but they were actually only live-in partners because their “marriage” didn’t have any legal status. It can change now since his legal wife is no more.

Everything about Mona’s death was poignant. She got her first major jolt when her husband moved out of their bungalow and fathered a family with Sridevi. She watched the world (close family and friends included) accept Sri and Boney as a couple, in the process making her, his legal wife, seem like the other woman!

She built a career for herself as the owner of a film studio and made such a wide circle of friends that when she died the hall booked by the Kapoors for a prayer meeting was far too small to accommodate the non-stop wave of mourners. Someone sure miscalculated the goodwill she had earned in the last 15 years. On her own steam, she had more than 26,000 followers on Twitter.

For someone who had to battle it out as a single parent to her two growing kids, Mona was finally seeing happiness when her strapping young son Arjun Kapoor got his big break with Yash Raj Films. She was slipping away quickly but she still made it a point to go in the cold winter to Lucknow where Arjun was shooting for Ishaqzaade, his first film as a hero (opposite Parineeti Chopra, Priyanka’s cousin). Mona would sit with a shawl in the biting cold and watch her son shoot, hoping against hope that she’d live long enough to see his first film. She saw his first promo (received tremendously well by viewers and by the film industry) but couldn’t last until May when Ishaqzaade will be released.

When Mona passed away on Sunday, Shabana was being honoured for her contribution to Hindi cinema by New York City. But from the moment she touched down around 4am on Monday, Shabana stayed beside Mona’s body. She even lifted the glass coffin lid and touched up her friend’s face for her final journey. Shabana has organised a small meeting of all her close friends next week, a day before Mona’s daughter Anshula goes back to the US to graduate this summer. Apart from watching son Arjun’s debut film, being at Anshula’s graduation also remained an unfulfilled desire when Mona slipped away.

If Mona’s death was heart-wrenching, Anup Jalota made it even more poignant with his extremely inspired singing at her prayer meeting on Tuesday. Two weeks ago, Anup had sung at a prayer meeting for Joy Mukherjee. He was so close to Joy and wife Neelam that it was through them that he met his wife Medha.

Anup’s singing is his final gift to very dear friends. He was extremely close to Mona too. At Shabana’s party for Mona’s birthday, Anup had brought out his harmonium and sung Happy Birthday to her. He had sung in 1984 at Mona’s wedding to Boney. And it was an emotionally moving experience when he sang his stirring, soulful bhajans at her prayer meeting. RIP, Mona.

Bharathi S. Pradhan is editor, The Film Street Journal