If laughter, as they say, is the best medicine, one thinks that people with funny names must be overdosing a fair bit. The batty English are proud of their bottoms (we refer only to names — Longbottom, Sidebottom, Winterbottom).
What’s in a name?
Professor Cuthbert Calculus is a fictional character in 'The Adventures of Tintin', the comics series by Belgian cartoonist Hergé
YoutubeNames of characters in books often elicit laughter and curiosity. Was Enid Blyton, for some reason, unhappy with the police when she named a policeman ‘Goon’ in her Five Find Outers books? When writing his Tintin books, why did Hergé choose the name ‘Professor Calculus’? Was he enamoured of algebra? ‘Professor Subtraction’ and ‘Professor Mental Math’, one feels, are equally fine names.
Johnny Depp in and as Edward Scissorhands
YoutubeFunny and bewildering names have found their way to movies and TV shows, too. Clint Eastwood, we assume, must have had a serious identity crisis as ‘The Man with no Name’ in his Spaghetti Westerns. To make things weirder, he was alternatively called ‘The Good’ and ‘Blondie’ in The Good, the Bad and The Ugly. Sergio Leone had clearly never read the Book of Names. Johnny Depp, one thinks, must have surely thought of plastic surgery when playing the role in Edward Scissorhands.
Pet (name) peeves
Partha Mukherjee as Bogola in the Bengali film 'Dhanyee Meye'
YoutubeIn the Bengali movie Dhanyee Meye, football fanatic Gobordhan Chowdhury covets the Nyangteshwar Shield. The Indian Super League (ISL) would certainly have been more interesting if it was called the Nyangteshwar Shield. The question asks itself: Where have high-spirited team owners like Gobordhan all gone? In Dhanyee Meye, Gobordhan‘s main rival is a character played by Uttam Kumar. He owns a football team where the star forward’s daak naam is Bogola aka underarm. Trust the Bengalis to think of such an embarrassing daak naam! Yes, we know it is a display of love, but imagine trying to woo a lady with a name like Bogola. That said, one should perhaps look at the brighter side. It takes a lot of sangfroid to be cool with daak naams like Poltu or Boka.
Name, Place, Animal, Thing
Tamil Nadu and Sunrisers Hyderabad’s cricketer Washington Sundar
Even in the Indian Premier League (IPL), a name that stands out is Tamil Nadu and Sunrisers Hyderabad’s Washington. Confused? One assumes the person who named the cricketer Washington Sundar was playing that old game called Name, Place, Animal, Thing. It is possible that having stopped at ‘W’, they went with the American capital. Now what would have happened if that person had stopped at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch in Wales?
What’s life without humour?
England’s cricketer Ian Bell
The world of cricket has thrown up many humorous names. The origins of these names arouse curiosity. Was Zimbabwean cricketer Prosper ‘Professor’ Utseya named after ‘Mrs. Very Successful’, for example? Over the years, the British and Kiwis have had some cricketers who could belong to the Giggling Eleven. Kiwis Chris Drum and Matthew Bell make a lot of noise, as does England’s Ian Bell.
In the olden days, alcohol and cricket were the best of friends. If one were to open a cricket bar, there is going to be a long line of cricketers — Ravi Shastri, Ian Botham, Rod Marsh, Jeff Thomson, Keith Miller, Ian Chappell, David Boon and Doug Walters — all waiting to come in. But like the game of cricket, even this bar will have rules. Only cricketers whose names relate to alcohol will be allowed inside. One such cricketer is the great Gary Sobers. Rumour has it that Sobers was often very hungover when going out to bat. Australian cricketer, Michael Beer, is, of course, another shoo-in.
Kiwi cricketer Martin Crowe
Wikimedia CommonsBirds and cricket go back a long way, be it the seagulls at the Adelaide Oval, the pigeons in England or the crows in the subcontinent. Speaking of crows, the Kiwis (who are birds themselves) have once been represented by players like Martin and Jeff Crowe. Navjot Singh Sidhu once called Martin Crowe the fairest crow in the world. Birds love to fly. They go as far as the West Indies, where Joel Garner, or ‘Big Bird’, imitated a deadly eagle waiting to pounce on his prey. In faraway Australia, Glen ‘Pigeon’ McGrath has also upset many batsmen with his poisonous beak.
Die-hard foodies, are they?
Cricketers Clive Rice and (right) Graham Onions
WikipediaWhen we think of food and cricket, we think of the Hungry Five — Graham Onions, Allan Lamb, Clive Rice, Phil Salt and Phil Mustard. Between them, lunch, tea and dinner can all become a feast. The menu at Lord’s is mouth-watering. Legend has it that England’s star batsman Alastair Cook and Australia’s Lynette Cook both found it hard to concentrate after devouring the classic steak here. Speaking of steaks, England’s Cecil Pepper was reportedly a fan of the Pepper Steak. Where there’s food, there must be alcohol. So, here's a toast to ‘Champagne’ Labuschagne and Captain Eoin Morgan’s Old Spice Rum. (Happy eating and drinking, but please don’t forget to pay that bill!)
Some of cricket’s most famous players are short — Don Bradman, Sachin Tendulkar, Sunil Gavaskar — and if a cricket team were to make modest height a criterion, Ireland’s Josh Little, England’s Gladstone Small and Australia’s D’Arcy Short are all sure to find a place. This gang would also soon come to include the obviously intelligent Bob Brain and the winter-loving Betty Snowball.
Bond with the best
Chennai Kings batsman Napoleon Einstein
Cricket also has a James Bond connection. Ian Fleming named Bond’s arch-enemy Blofeld after his classmate, commentator Henry Blofeld’s father. One player who also has the licence to thrill is New Zealand’s fastest paceman, Mr. Thunderball, The Man with the Golden Arm, Bond … Shane Bond.
The Book of Names does not include ‘Napoleon Einstein’, but he exists. He is a cricketer from Tamil Nadu. The people who named him were obvious fans of Napoleon and Einstein, but what if they had been fans of Batman and Superman, or even Laurel and Hardy? Instead of Napoleon, what if they were admirers of emperor Charles, the Bald? The world knows that Albert Einstein is a Nobel winner, but what if there was a Nobel Prize for names? Napoleon Einstein, you feel, will be a sure recipient.
