I love watching films, theatre, adventure sport, spirituality, good food and travelling. Looking for a committed individual with the same values.” So says Nisha Malwani from Mumbai on her profile posted on a matrimony website. Nisha is 45 years old and not married as yet.

G. Balachandran from Chennai is a 55-year-old widower who got married to Rajeshwari V, a divorc?e, this year. They met on Bharatmatrimony.com. Or take the case of Meena Pillai, a 53-year-old office assistant from Mumbai who got married to a non-resident Indian last month after registering on Shaadi.com. These examples represent members of a tribe who are getting married despite their relatively older profile.

Over three per cent of the registered members of Bharatmatrimony fall in the age category of 40 plus. Shaadi.com boasts of approximately 5 lakh members who are over 40 and have never been married. It also has around 2.80 lakh members who are seeking partners again after a divorce or the death of their spouse. The latest entrant, Jeevansaathi.com, also has over 8,000 profiles in this category.

This seems to be a huge change from the time when middle-aged people may have been hesitant to broach the subject of marriage. Says Dr Aniruddha Deb, a psychiatrist: “Society has changed enough to utilise the services of the website for people who may be technically over the marriageable age.” Deb believes that while in the past search options were available through classified advertisements in the print media, the Net has made the process much simpler.

Says Muruguvel Janakiraman, chief executive officer, Bharatmatrimony.com: “Online websites are ideal for late marriage, and even those looking to get married again. This is because the individuals reach a stage where they are hesitant to ask their family members to search for a soul mate out of fear of rebuke or ridicule. Matrimony websites help to bridge this gap.” According to Om Prakash Hassandani, business head, Shaadi Point, with the local family network vanishing, it is websites like Shaadi that provide a global choice for lakhs of members, cutting across age groups, professions, regions, religions, and communities.

All matrimony websites offer free registration. This allows a user to browse through different profiles according to one’s wants and desire. This also entitles one to post a detailed profile. Mandira Das, a 40-year-old neurologist in Calcutta, has posted her profile on Shaadi.com. Says Das, “I find that websites give me the space to describe myself completely and state clearly what kind of a partner I am looking for. I wonder if this would have been possible had I opted for the conventional means of searching for a partner.” The websites also offer services like chat and video profiles to make the searching experience for potential life partner seekers more useful and focused.

Mrunalini Deshpande and Hemant Kandalgaonkar found each other in this way. Kandalgaonkar is a 53-year-old divorced Canadian citizen who was registered on the community website of Bharatmatrimony. He met the 46-year-old Mrunalini Deshpande, also divorced, on this site. Says Kandalgaonkar, “I contacted Mrunalini on June 12 2003; she responded the same day and so began a series of e-mails followed by regular conversations on the telephone. With time it became apparent that our thoughts about our respective future spouses were very similar. We were similar not only culturally but our past experience of marriage had been similar too. All of these similarities made us go for a face-to-face meeting. In February 2004, we finally met and confirmed our romantic feelings for one another. We got engaged the same month and subsequently got married.”

But online matchmaking is not all that rosy for everybody. Seema Venkatesh, a 45-year-old divorc?e with a five-year-old child, says that she has been on different matrimony sites for one-and-a-half years but without success. She is often bombarded with messages from suitors who do not match the criteria she has specified. In some cases, the information stated has also been found to be false. She says, “It’s depressing to meet men who are not serious about marriage and it’s more depressing when good men do not respond.” Deb too states that he has some patients who are not happy with the choice of partners available.

Hemant Oberoi, chief operating officer of Jeevansaathi.com, feels that websites are merely a medium and it would be incorrect to say that these offer guaranteed results. Website owners say that the problem of false information can be largely solved by the verification services that they offer where they check on a prospective groom or bride’s credentials. But these problems apart, older couples still love the new tool that empowers them to find a partner for themselves.

It doesn’t matter anymore how old you are, someone somewhere is surely made for you!