Recently, I received a forwarded message entitled ‘What is a Grandparent?’ It was an amusing series of comments taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds such as ‘Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s,’ ‘They can take their teeth and gums out,’ ‘When they read to us, they don’t skip,’ and ‘Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.’ But the observation that really caught my attention was the definition of a grandfather. ‘A grandfather’ wrote one child, ‘is a man grandmother.’

How true, especially in this day and age! It was a succinct comment on our changing times. Take what was a typical set up. To begin with, a mother stayed at home to look after her babes. But once the children were a little bit older, she went to work and left them in the care of granny. It was the ideal situation. Granny was always available, and only too delighted to oblige. As far as she was concerned, it meant that the grandchildren did not have to be left to the tender, or not-so-tender, mercies of the maidservant. For the parents, nothing could have been better. Granny was family and as interested in the welfare of the children as they were. Who then could better be entrusted with the care of the children, when Mama and Papa were working, than her? But hold on a minute! Where, in this picture of happy domesticity, was Grandpa? On the periphery, looking on fondly, patting the children’s heads in passing on his way to office, perhaps taking them out for the occasional ice cream treat.

But time does not stand still. The kids grew up and had kids of their own. Their grandparents were no longer around to help out, but they assumed that Mama would automatically fall into the role of playing Granny and look after their children while they were at work. That is what didn’t happen. Mama was still young enough to be working herself. Besides, having waited till her children were school-going, and able to manage, she had made a late start on her career, so that it was only recently that she had begun to make her mark on her profession and come into her own. Not surprisingly, she was reluctant to give all this up in order to play granny. Papa, on the other hand, had called it a day. Having retired, he was happy to potter around at home. He was also only too willing to baby-sit his grandchildren.

So we now have the new age family. Grandpa stays at home. His son and daughter-in-law go out to work. So does his wife. And he looks after his grandchildren, savouring the leisure he has to enjoy his children’s children where he had never had the time to enjoy his own. What fun it is, he thinks, to be a man grandmother!