Till recently, it was taken for granted that a married woman, especially after she became a mother, had no choice but to give up everything for her family ? job, career prospects, independence, the fun of sharing a flat with friends, smart clothes, parties, girlie get-togethers, films, shows, et al. The order of the day was that while she was stuck at home changing the new baby’s nappies or overseeing the older child’s homework, her husband had a good time, working in the cool of an air conditioned office, whizzing all over the country on exciting business trips and indulging in lavish expense account lunches. It just wasn’t fair, she, and her ilk, complained vociferously.

But that was yesterday. Today the picture is somewhat different. Now an increasing number of women are refusing to follow in their mothers’ footsteps. The route they take is no longer that of a self-made martyr, and in this, they have the support of their husbands who have begun to accept the female goals of equality in the workplace and home. As a result, we now have a growing number of double income, dual career, housework-sharing couples. Neither husband nor wife need to make any sacrifices, neither has to give up anything for the other, and with twice the income coming in, life is a blast.

The formula works, but it depends on the couple agreeing to remain a DINK, or a Double Income No Kid family. And herein lies the rub. Life might be a load of fun, but perversely, the same women who moaned and groaned earlier now want to be mothers. “I feel betrayed,” says a young acquaintance of mine, one of the new crop of equality-minded husbands. “We agreed that we would not have children, but now she wants to raise a family! Our lives are going to be turned topsy-turvy with the arrival of a baby.”

Ironically, having fought for the right to be allowed into the wondrous world of working men, women now are asking to be let out again. “Me earth mother, you bread winner” is their current message to their husbands, a message that seems to have lost some of its traditional appeal, at least for those husbands who have had a taste of a life with no cares or responsibilities. Could it be that they are happy to help with the household chores but not to pay the rent by themselves! And, is it possible that they resent the fact that their wives have the choice to go out to work or stay at home, when they have none?

But what of our progressive, career-minded women? Convincing themselves ? and their husbands ? that a baby will make no difference, they run themselves ragged coping with husband, child, home and job. But this time they do it out of choice, which I suppose, makes all the difference.