The water cooler is an inanimate object that decorates some corner of most offices. Its ostensible function is to provide chilled water for parched throats. Actually, it is more an area for hot gossip.

“The water cooler (the coffee machine or whatever) is the nerve centre of the office,” says Mumbai-based HR consultant Shashi Rao. “Most companies lack effective internal communication systems. What they think is internal communication is actually internal PR, feel-good messages and deification of the top management. You need an informal network to get the real information across.”

You can look at the “water cooler” through a serious lens. The McKinsey Quarterly has done so in a recent article titled The role of networks in organisational change. The principal thesis of the dissertation is that informal networks are important to an organisation. “Executives contemplating a reorganisation shouldn’t focus on formal organisational structures so much that they ignore informal communication channels and opinion leaders,” concludes the article.

McKinsey recommends that organisations should make attempts to identify the “brokers” — “who interact frequently with external consultants, designers and academics and then funnel information from them to internal teams.” Says the article: “In our experience, it’s all too easy for a company to overlook its brokers because they tend to occupy the ‘white space’ of an organisation, and the sheer number of relationships they have may be small compared with those of influential ‘connectors’ to whom people turn for information.”

Of course, McKinsey wouldn’t stoop to discussing water coolers. But many others recognise this as the nucleus of powerful networks. This works at a subterranean level. It is also concealed behind gossip of a banal nature, office romance and petty spite. But if you want a revolt on your hands, try removing the cooler.

Studies show that it is not just gossip that is exchanged at this mundane fount. Research and consulting firm ISR conducted a survey of US workers. Its findings: some 63 per cent say they get most of their information about the company they work for from information gleaned from others while standing around the water cooler.

This is primarily because of lack of communication from top management. It has implications beyond just the waste of time chatting around the cooler. Another ISR survey shows that companies that communicate better with their employees perform significantly better on the stockmarkets too.

“But, because of its very nature, the water cooler and the culture around it are treated as something not very serious,” says Rao. “Yes, some managements do use it to disseminate information. But that is regarded — both by the managements and the employees — as a rather sly way of doing things.”

The water cooler is a symbol, says Josh Aiello, the author of 60 People to Avoid at the Water Cooler. Among the types he identifies are The Cheapskate, The Condescending IT Guy, The Floozy, The Gossip, The Dinosaur, The Hall Monitor, The Politico, The Potential Serial Killer, The Temp and The Water Cooler Casanova (see box).

So what should you be doing around the water cooler? If you are part of the top management, use it to pass information and gather feedback. You may need to create a new water cooler species; The Feedback Facilitator could be a useful euphemism. But it is all for the good of the company.

If you are an employee, stay alert for a situation when the cooler crowd suddenly goes silent when you approach. Evidently, you were the subject of the conversation. It’s an early warning system. The corporate grapevine is telling you that it’s time to mend your ways.

POISON IVY

Some of the 60 people to avoid at the water cooler

The Alpha Chimp: Fresh off his senior year of college, he’s now old enough to drink beer at happy hour and is gunning to take control of the company. Stay out of his way.

The Big Fish in a Small Pond: Though pushing 40, the Big Fish considers himself impervious to the ageing process. He is the resident adrenaline junkie and his tastes in clothing, music, automobiles, hobbies and slang are identical to that of your average college sophomore.

The caffeine junkie: He averages roughly three-and-a-half minutes of work per mug of coffee. He is always in motion, a condition that manifests itself in the form of continuous desk-kitchen-men’s room loop.

The Chitchat Artist: He ruminates on only the most drearily obvious and uninteresting subjects. He displays a knack for “swinging by” (his term) the office or cubicle of whoever happens to be busiest. His professional function is a complete mystery to all.

(Source: Adapted from 60 People to Avoid at the Water Cooler, by Josh Aiello)