Laasya and Naveen at the wedding in Tirupati on March 4

Chennai, March 10: Missing at the wedding: the father of the bride.

The AIADMK’s M. Thambidurai failed to show up at his eldest daughter Laasya’s wedding in Tirupati on March 4, apparently afraid of getting into the bad books of party boss Jayalalithaa, who was yet to bless the alliance.

The groom, Naveen, is the son of C. Gnanasekaran, a former Congress MLA.

An unwritten rule in the AIADMK bars social mingling with rival party members, and Thambidurai feared he would be blacklisted by Amma if seen in the company of a Congress leader, even if he happened to be his daughter’s father-in-law, sources said. The Congress is part of the DMK-led Opposition alliance in the AIADMK-ruled state.

So last Sunday, when Laasya was getting married in Tirupati, the AIADMK MP was cooling his heels in Chennai and his wife and two daughters were fighting tears and embarrassment at the absence of the head of the family.

“On the morning of the muhurtham, there was no word from him. His secretary kept obfuscating, claiming the MP had left Chennai, he was on the way, and when the time arrived, we knew he was not going to show up,” said Gnanasekaran, Naveen’s father.

Finally, the ceremony was conducted without him. Thambidurai’s elder brother gave away the bride.

“His absence did sadden me since a girl wants to be blessed by her closest family on her wedding day,” said Laasya, 26, who has now moved with Naveen, 30, into a flat in south-west Chennai.

“Laasya took the disappointment well and was soon smiling for the photographs. Both of us are certain that Jayalalithaa would not have objected if my father-in-law had attended the wedding of his own daughter, since our marriage is beyond politics,” Naveen said.

In Tamil Nadu politics, it is mandatory for party members to have their children’s weddings presided over by their political bosses.

Thambidurai had hemmed and hawed whenever Laasya, who fell in love with Naveen when they were both studying medicine at Chennai’s Sri Ramachandra Medical College four years ago, asked him to raise the matter with Amma and seek a date. Exasperated, in early February, Laasya herself went to Poes Garden and left a note for the chief minister but did not get a response.

Finally, it was the MP’s amma (mother) who rushed them into a ceremony as she became critically ill.

“Even for this arrangement he had imposed a hundred conditions. He wanted it to be a low-key affair with no invitations or posters. He insisted that only 50 people from either side should attend the ceremony. We agreed to everything since the marriage could be held only after three months if his elderly mother passed away,” Gnanasekaran, a four-time MLA, said.

The Congress leader is now busy planning a reception in his hometown, Vellore, on March 24. “Given his track record, I do not expect Thambidurai to turn up for the reception,” he said.

“With many DMK and Congress leaders expected at the reception, he will not want to risk his standing with his leader by being seen in their company.”

As for the father of the bride, he would be getting set to represent Jayalalithaa at Punjab chief minister-designate Parkash Singh Badal’s swearing-in on March 14.