Saas Shoma Anand and bahu Rucha Gujrathi of Bhabhi fame

The occasion for the Sahara One-sponsored gathering of TV stars at the Grand Hyatt in Santa Cruz, Mumbai (Pictures by Sudeshna Banerjee), might have been the launch of a show called Saas Vs Bahu but in the ladies’ wash room, the alignment was taking shape along different lines. “Why should they make us wait for so long? Let’s set a time and walk out then,” a saas was instigating three bahus, who were putting yet another coat of gloss on the painted lips. The four teamed up and 9pm was decided as the hour of rebellion.

Outside, all was hunky dory as more and more painted faces, with toes perilously perched on stilettos, trooped into the party zone. The pancake had to work overtime on many as there were to be an equal number of moms-in-law and daughters-in-law — 15. And if on every other channel, they are busy cooking countermoves in the kitchen, on Sahara One they would be matching each other step for step on the dance floor. “Saas-bahu toh miltey nahin siwaye kitchen ke. This is a novel format,” Anchal Dwivedi gave a thumbs up while walking in.

“There will be no generation leap, no plastic surgery, no return of the bahu’s old boyfriend…,” promised anchor Karan Mehra, taking a dig at the daily soaps’ routine reinventions.

“It will be an 11-week contest, beaming five days a week (at 8pm),” said producer Sidharth Tiwari, frantically managing schedules of two judges, 30 stars and their screen kin. “In one round, the saas-bahus will have to ask relatives from their shows to dance on their behalf.” Which side will the son/husband take? “It’s up to individual rapport,” he grinned.

But the bigger challenge is getting GenEx to dance. “We are not that much older,” Seema Kapoor quipped, sizing up her bahu Preeti Puri. Some saas were having other kinds of problems. “Apna designer thoda Americawale hain. Unko bolna pada ki main chaalis ki hoon, uss hisab se kapde banaiye — thoda dhak ke,” said a bemused Himani Shivpuri.

But not one saas would admit that age might take the spring out of their dance step.

“Tagda competition hoga,” Shivpuri predicted. Choreographer Longinus Fernandes, one of the judges, counts Kishori Shahane Vij, saas in Solhah Singaarr, as a top performer. Pratichee Mishra of Saat Phere has a Bharatnatyam diploma in her kitty. And they have one round without dance in which to score, where the camera goes behind the scenes recording the verbal volleys between rivals. “We might not be great dancers par josh aur honsh zyada hai hum mein, shayed gosht bhi,” winked Neelam Mehra, adding that meaty women in the audience will identify with her. So, age might not be a minus. “In fact, they will get sympathy votes, ” opined Amita Chandekar bahu of Kasturi.

“Dance is not just about steps but also involves expression, figure, grace and dress. Jayati (Bhatia) and Neelam (Mehra) are as brilliant as (bahu) Saumya (Tandon) is,” said the other judge Aroona Irani. As for firepower, her top rating (‘kamaal hain’) goes to the oldest two — Reeta Bhaduri and Neelam. “Meri bahu ko main kachcha kha jati hoon,” Neelam snarled at the docile Reena Kapoor. “She is brilliant,” Reena quickly conceded.

But all the bahus are not ready to give up without a fight. One bahu who has earned reverence with her tongue-lashing is Shilpa Saklani Agnihotri of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. “Woh kissi ghar mein na hi jaye toh behtar hai,” said Neelam, with a mock shudder.