Victoria No. 203 (1973). A full-on entertainer with a handful of diamonds inside a buggy called Victoria No. 203, a sensuous Saira, and the amazing chemistry between two over-the-hill petty thieves Pran and Ashok Kumar who become instrumental in tying up the missing links between a robbery and a murder. Engrossing with a capital ‘E’. Let’s not even get there.

Victoria No. 203 (2007): Diamonds Are Forever. Diamonds may be, but the film is definitely not. Forever, that is. The plot remains the same but what was fun then is now farcical, what was engaging then is now exasperating. For director Ananth Mahadevan has delivered a dud, the caricature of a mini-classic.

Jaaved Jaaferi, as the rich Mr Bombata who plans a heist with his arm candy Preeti Jhangiani and calls her Mona, is more dumb than dangerous.

For Sonia Vinod Mehra, this is an ill-chosen debut vehicle. To live up to Saira Banu’s sizzle is no mean task. The comparison is odious but inevitable, especially since a couple of songs are reused. Thodasa thehro, remixed of course, is reduced to a silly ad for Bombay Dyeing towels! Had the film Victoria No. 203 (1973) been digitally coloured and released, Saira Banu’s sex appeal would have beaten Sonia’s by a mile. Jimmy Sheirgill looks good that’s about it. Kamal Sadanah, the producer, plays the bad guy Ranjit.

The actual robbery of the diamonds, during the opening sequences, apes the Entrapment laser-dodge routine made famous by Catherine Zeta-Jones in a body suit. Here, it’s merely a mindless excuse to display Tora’s cleavage, from every possible angle.

After their sorry sleaze show in Buddha Mar Gaya, the two buffoon buddhas Om Puri and Anupam Kher are back in form with this Raja-Rana caper. Their lines are funny and they are good fun to watch. Do bechare can still make you smile, despite the rap and bhangra beat.

But that can’t be reason enough to watch Victoria No. 203, remixed of course.

Madhuparna Das

Terror tale

A few minutes into the new Bhatt film Dhokha and you may be excused for thinking it’s an Urdu classroom where five words are taught — zillat, kaum, mulk, junoon, jehaadi.
Like all of Pooja Bhatt’s films, the heart is in the right place. Who’s the real terrorist? The woman who blew up a club as a suicide bomber or the policeman who raped her? Who is the messiah and who is the monster? The man who inspires young minds to die for a perceived cause or the world leader who kills in the name of defence?

Pertinent questions all, but it is the treatment that makes it all so cliched and tedious.
Dhokha starts off fast and furious. Cop Zayed (Muzammil) finds himself giving blood in a hospital after a Mumbai blast at a nightclub. All hell breaks lose when his wife Sarah (Tulip) is named as the suicide bomber. All fingers point at Zayed, who had no inkling that his lady love was a ticking time bomb.

From there begins Zayed’s quest for an answer to the question “why her”, that takes him into a murky back story.

What could have been a fiercely visceral journey a la United 93, turns out to be a never-ending verbose ordeal. Pooja sure has handled a couple of scenes quite effectively, especially the one where Ashutosh Rana’s cop terrorises Anupam Kher and his two grandchildren. Your blood boils and you begin to see some sense in Sarah’s violent vengeance. But then again Pooja tries to be politically correct and balance it all out and manages to douse the fire she had herself lit.

The performances are just like the movie — mixed. While Tulip is perfect as the beauty caught in a sinister web, Muzammil is so weak in the emotional scenes that his otherwise confident debut comes a cropper. Aushima Sawhney as the other lady Nandini is really bad. Gulshan, Ashutosh, Anupam lend some credibility to the flawed enterprise. M.M. Kreem’s music soothes the senses with Roya re being the highlight.

Paap, Holiday, Dhokha… we’re waiting, Pooja!

PDG

Heyy Babyy

Funnyman Sajid Khan’s directorial debut has had a big opening in city theatres. The laugh riot has clicked.

Pro: Akshay, Fardeen and Riteish; the one liners; the music

Con: If this is not your brand of humour it all seems quite stupid and so the film tends to drag; Vidya Balan is a misfit

Ratatouille

This animated film based on the culinary aspirations of a rat has had a decent Week One at the box office.

Pro: Craftsmanship, Peter OToole’s performance as Anton Ego

Con: The premise is a bit silly

Kaisay Kahein

This attempt at a mature young love story has received a lukewarm response in its opening week, with the audience choosing to stay away from the Smita Thackeray film.

Pro: A script with potential

Con: Disappointing performances; lacklustre direction; average music

Ballygunge Court

Even with a good cast, this film dealing with the parent-child equation in the context of career and mobility, fails to strike a chord.

Pro: Refreshing foreign locale

Con: Gloomy and depressing narrative; cliched handling and performances

Chak De! India

SRK and his gang of hockey girls continue to create box office magic in Week 3.

Pro: Shah Rukh Khan hasn’t looked and acted better; the refreshingly real supporting cast; gender and region sensitive

Con: Dhoondte reh jaoge!

Partner

The Salman-Govinda ‘partner’ship is still going strong with the David Dhawan comic caper emerging as one of the biggest grossers of ’07. And Salman fans now have another reason to catch it.

Pro: The partnership; the one-liners

Con: Loud in parts