THE FAN CLUB: They are exhausted pandal-hoppers who are now only interested in cooling off in front of the giant pedestal fans. Most of the times they don’t even fake interest in the idol. They probably walked into your pandal just because of the fan. But don’t take it personally, you have done the same before.
THE LOST SOUL: These are the pitiable creatures who wander through the crowd looking for that one known face. If you hear, “Bultu from Sodepur, please come to the pandal office, Mampi and Tumpi are waiting for you”, you know who’s in front of you.
THE SELFIE-WITH-DURGA BRIGADE: No, Durga Ma will not double tap your selfie on Instagram.
THE PARENT TRAP: Even though the same deities are worshipped across the city, you will always find some parents who are unable to keep their trap shut when it comes to explaining the identities of each and every idol to their bored kids. Finger-pointing (often at Durga’s lion) is frequent.
THE BAREFOOT DEVOTEES: They will walk in and stand before the idols barefoot, not because of heightened devotion but because no matter how many times the t2 girl gang warns against wearing pointy heels for pandal-hopping, they will never learn! Don’t feel sorry for them, they’ll do the same next year.
THE GLASSY-EYED: Every photographer (DSLR-owner) has at least one photograph of a pandal chandelier on their memory card. They probably won’t even look at the photo again, but training their lens at the ceiling (and colliding with others) to try and catch the glass pieces in “perfect” light is a must.
THE ORGANISERS: Dressed in white, they can be found sitting inside the VIP area, their ID cards proudly bouncing off their rotund bellies. They are the movers and shakers of the puja and they walk around with much swag (at least their version of it).
THE OUTSIDERS: They will do everything, from having cotton candy and popping balloons to sitting on the field and singing songs. But ask them the colour of the pandal’s interiors and they will look like they need a phone-a-friend lifeline to answer that.
THE OVERJOYED: This type is easy to locate. Their faces light up as they enter an “award-winning” pandal after waiting in queue for two hours. However, the ecstasy quickly turns into disappointment as they are pushed outside the pandal in less than two minutes.
THE SELF-IMPORTANT VOLUNTEER: This is the person who pushes you out of the pandal you have been waiting to see for two hours. The only line on his lips? “Egiye jaan, shobaaike dekhar sujog din, (Move along, give others an opportunity to see the idol too).” However, nobody cares to listen to him other than himself.
THE COUPLE: They have wandered into the pandal by mistake. They cannot even think of worshipping anyone else apart from each other. Sometimes they enter the pandal to hide from the prying eyes of kakimas and jethimas outside.
THE GOSSIP GALS: Usually in their 40s to 60s, the para kakimas and jethimas sit near the pandal and catch up on a year’s worth of gossip, decked out in their best saris and even some wedding jewellery.
THE NUMBER CRUNCHER: Just like some bad boys have clickers, this type of pandal-hopper keeps a count of the number of pandals visited. Outdoing the best friend or the older cousin gives them a huge kick.
THE VIDEOGRAPHER: You are bound to find one person persistently recording a video of the entire pandal on his mobile phone — from the entrance sign to the fire extinguisher near the exit, nothing escapes his 2MP mobile camera. The question remains: who will ever want to see that footage?
