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Hollywood film: Stepmom
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Bollywood remake: We are Family
Karan Johar is famous for making films that preach the importance of family and love. But we all knew that his adaptation of the Susan Sarandon starrer Stepmom would be a recipe for disaster. And sure enough, he turned a poignant story into a soppy family drama. Except Kajol, no one really fit the bill. Arjun Rampal seemed too young to be the father of three (but he was so yummy that we are really not grumbling) and Kareena Kapoor in place of Julia Roberts? NWN (no words needed)!
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Hollywood film: Serendipity
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Bollywood remake: Milenge Milenge
Serendipity was a beautiful film about finding soulmates whereas Milenge Milenge was nothing short of torture! The plot was all over the place, there were too many unwanted Himesh Reshammiya songs, the performances by Kareena and her then beau Shahid were unbearable, and the entire film lacked the
feel-good factor that has made the John Cusack-Kate Beckinsale starrer such a romance favourite.
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Hollywood film: The Eyes
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Bollywood film: Naina
Bolly can copy Holly down to the last scene and yet ruin it. Ram Gopal Varma did it with The Eyes, an exceptionally scary movie about a blind violinist whose cornea transplant left her with terrifying visions. Naina was exceptionally... hilarious, in parts. Even Urmila Matondkar’s decent performance could not salvage the film burdened with terrible special effects and amateurish plot handling.
Hollywood film: Bruce Almighty
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Bollywood remake: God Tussi Great Ho
Jim Carrey gave one of his best performances as a common man who takes on the duties of God for a day. A comedy that you can watch again and again and again. If only the same could be said about its Bollywood ‘remake’. Salman Khan’s comic timing was off, Amitabh Bachchan as God was a waste and Priyanka Chopra did not even pretend to act. The slapstick humour worsened matters. The only thing one remembers about this film is the irritating yet catchy Aksa beach song.
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Hollywood film: Hitch
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Bollywood remake: Partner
How could one even think of Salman Khan as the suave and cool date doctor Alex Hitch played by Will Smith? This was Govinda’s comeback film and the only reason why it was barely watchable. Hitch is a touching romantic drama full of quotable quotes whereas Partner is a farce without heart and leaves us with a bad taste in the mouth and earworms galore. Will we ever be able to forget Keindi pump up di jam oh keindi?
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Hollywood Film: The Others
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Bollywood remake: Hum Kaun Hain?
Based on the novel The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, this Nicole Kidman horror flick had one of the best twists ever. The Hindi remake had great actors in Amitabh Bachchan and Dimple Kapadia but it still fell flat on its face. The subtlety that made the twist at the end of The Others was lost, making the Bolly film predictable right from the start. And it tried too hard to be scary, losing the flavour of the original in the process.
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Hollywood film: Memento
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Bollywood film: Ghajini
Aamir Khan’s PR skills and weird hairdo could not save Ghajini, Bollywood’s remake of Memento. The plot was the same but the spark was missing. The film dragged on for too long and the violence made even the fans of action films cringe. Also, since it is Bollywood, there had to be some unnecessary songs which hampered the otherwise intense narrative. Wanted: A dose of Anterograde amnesia to forget what Bolly did to a Holly classic.
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Hollywood film: Shutter
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Bollywood remake: Click
Granted that the American film was also a remake of a Thai 2004 horror film of the same name, but it just proves how badly
Bollywood can mess things up. The Sreyash Talpade remake of the honest-to-God scary film was boring, to say the least. When the yawns keep coming in succession, you curse yourself for even making an attempt to sit through this film.
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Hollywood: While You Were Sleeping
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Bollywood: Har Dil Jo Pyaar Karega
This may not be one of Sandra Bullock’s best films but it was still a heart-warming one where she is mistaken as the elder brother’s fiancee and while he is in a coma she falls in love with the younger one. The Hindi remake starring Salman Khan, Preity Zinta and Rani Mukerji was loud and annoying.
The four who might just be able to save the hindi tfios from being drowned... in tears of despair
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If anyone can match Gus’s swag, it’s the new “villain” of our hearts. Anyone else trying to pull off the cigarette metaphor would look plain cheesy but with Sidharth Malhotra, it’s gonna be smokin’ hot!
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We need a fresh face for Hazel, someone sharp but soft around the edges. And pretty in an understated way. No Bolly babe matched up, but we spy hope in Rakul Preet Singh, the Airtel girl. We can picture her saying “Okay.” Well, almost.
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Isaac is a silent pillar of TFIOS and let’s be a little adventurous with this casting. How about Ruslaan Mumtaz aka DV of the TV serial Kehta Hai Dil...Jee Le Zara? He’s cute, can act, so won’t mess up the night with the trophies, and will not overshadow Hazel-Gus.
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This powerhouse performer can make good any role. And Van Houten seems to be just the kind of character Naseeruddin Shah can make awesome, even in his sleep. A special mention of his role as Farhan’s estranged dad in ZNMD.
