Actor Manoj Bajpayee says his latest film "Jugnuma" helped him reconnect with himself and his sense of purpose as the project came to him at a time when he was weighed down by existential questions that left him restless and uncertain.

The actor recalled taking a break of nearly a year, despite being lined up for "The Family Man" because he found himself questioning his purpose, his craft, and even the routine of daily life.

"I was at a juncture in my life, when the questions were becoming very intense, and they were all existential issues. I was very much troubled. It was so much trouble that I stopped working for 8 to 10 months, almost no film, nothing.

"I was not doing anything. The whole ‘The Family Man’ thing that was about to happen, the dates were one year away, for that one year I did not work," Bajpayee told PTI in an interview.

Adding to the sense of dislocation, the actor and his family had just moved into a new house under renovation.

"We shifted into a new society, the society was new, the house was not our home. But the questions were way too troublesome for me, I had to find an answer and I was not able to," he said.

It was in this state of unease that the script of "Jugnuma" arrived.

Directed by Raam Reddy of “Thithi” fame, the film is steeped in magical realism, tackles themes such as generational trauma, village legends, and mysticism.

Bajpayee said he read it once, then twice, and felt it spoke directly to his struggles.

"I felt that everything that I was going through, and all the questions that I was looking at, this film would solve everything for me.

"It was so beautifully engraved in this story -- about attachment, about detachment, about who I am, what exactly is my purpose, why am I here. So, all of those questions were like a boulder on my chest, and ‘Jugnuma’ answered everything for me when I read it, and that prompted me to be with the film, to find more beautiful things for myself, which I did eventually," he said.

“Jugnuma”, set in the late 1980s in the Himalayas, features Bajpayee as Dev, the patriarch of an orchard estate, who discovers mysteriously burnt trees in his sprawling estate that unsettle his world.

The actor praised Reddy for his extraordinary storytelling approach, and described his writing as “magical and imaginative”.

"I don't know which world that he has come from, this young man has so much to tell and offer. He is a rare talent that India needs to really celebrate,” he said.

Reflecting on his early years in the industry, Bajpayee said opportunities for independent films were rare, but they played a crucial role in shaping him as an actor.

“‘Satya’ gave me a career; I wanted to be very truthful to it. There was too much hard work after that, like the kind of films that I wanted to do, they were not getting made. I was living in this la la land, that if I wait, things will happen.

But nothing seemed to be working.

The actor also admitted that he was saying no to too many things.

"I had only one choice, either I sit at home or do a small, meaningful film. When I took that decision, I felt liberated. I was completely away from this rat race of Mumbai industry. I was very happy helping in making those films as an actor and also helping the producer to reach the end goal of releasing the film, and that has been my life for so many years, like going to the festivals.” “Jugnuma”, which released in theatres across the country on Friday, earned rave reviews last year, winning acclaim at the Berlin and Leeds International Film Festivals — where it bagged Best Film and also receiving a special jury prize at Mumbai’s MAMI Film Festival.

For Bajpayee, who has previously starred in acclaimed indie projects like "Aligarh", "Bhonsle", "Gali Guleiyan", "Despatch" and "Joram", such recognition only reinforces his belief in the importance of festivals.

“I liked the whole experience, where people are celebrating cinema in a true sense. Nobody talks about box office, there is no trade expert or discussion about how much the film is going to make at the box office. They are purely celebrating the hard work of the filmmaker, and the cast, and the quality of it, they are discussing it very seriously,” he said.

Bajpayee also said that he admires filmmakers from the South for their commitment to storytelling rather than commercial success.

"I’ve worked in South, and they make it with a lot of passion, those directors coming from small villages. They have their own way of telling the story, be it a commercial, an independent or middle-of-the-road film.

"They are only staying true to what they are trying to say. They don't care about anything else. After that is the producer, and the exhibitors and the distributors. It is a different ball game altogether," he said.

Actors Deepak Dobriyal, Priyanka Bose, and Tillotma Shome round out the cast of “Jugnuma”. It is presented by Guneet Monga and Anurag Kashyap.

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