What was your reaction when you first laid eyes on your kids?
Jeet: When I saw Navanya the first time after she was born... I can’t express it in words. It’s bliss, heavenly, God-like...
Jisshu: I remember when I saw Sara, the elder one, I cried. I don’t know why.... People in the hospital were staring at me, the nurses and all. I wanted to not cry and I could see that people were embarrassed to see me cry, but I couldn’t stop crying when I first saw her!
Jeet: I remember when Jisshu became dad for the first time. We met and the first thing he said was “Ami baba hoye gechhi!” (I’ve become a father.) And Jisshu could share this with me because we’ve been friends for a long time.
Jisshu: The second time I was more prepared and I knew what was coming. I’m closer to the younger one (Zara). I shouldn’t be saying this, but I could spend more time with her than I could spend with Sara. So my elder one is closer to her mom (Nilanjanaa) and the younger one is closer to me.
Jeet: Daughters are the best! That one word defines everything I guess. I have always wanted to come and see her (Navanya’s) school and what she does every day. I wonder how they remember all the poems... there are so many poems!
Is there something special that you and your daughter do together?
Jeet: Because of our work, we keep busy. For the last seven to eight months, I’m lucky that I have had time to spend with Navanya. Twice or once a week we go out for movies. Unfortunately now in public places I can’t go, so Mohna (wife) takes care of those activities. And at home also, we spend a lot of time together.
Jisshu: Generally when I get time, we go for a short two-day outing to Ganga Kutir in Raichak. The major problem with both of us (Jeet and him) is that we are working day in, day out. And when we are not, we are doing nothing. So that is a plus point in our profession also.
Jeet: Maybe now we can plan a trip outdoors soon.... We’ve already made a few trips with Navanya... now we need to plan a trip together!
Jisshu: Yeah!
Jisshu, how close are you to your daughters?
Jisshu: I would say that they are too young to be possessive about me! They can’t differentiate between mom and dad. Both my daughters scold me. I am the youngest in my family.
Jeet: I was about to say that!
Jisshu: So Nilanjanaa manages three kids at home! The elder one is Sara, the middle one is Zara and the youngest is Jisshu.
Jeet: Yes, that is a fact!
Jisshu: It’s been wonderful. It’s a comedy show 24x7.
Are your daughters daddy’s girls?
Jeet: We have one daughter, so we share her equally and I know she resembles me... she’s gone on me features-wise and when people identify that, I enjoy it.
Jisshu: (Turns to Jeet) Wait a couple of years, it’s going to change! When Sara was younger, she looked like Nilanjanaa. Now she’s changing a bit towards me.
Now that both of you have children, when choosing scripts, do you tend to pick those that you feel your kids would also enjoy watching?
Jeet: It’s more important that when our children grow up they have love and respect for our work. They should understand that this is just a profession. We go, act and come back. And I think the impression shouldn’t only come on screen or on camera. There should be an impact of the impression at home also. There could be one or two characters that I have played before my marriage that even I wouldn’t enjoy.
Jisshu: It’s not exactly the same for me but what Jeet said is very important. When they grow up and understand what we’re doing.... I do a certain kind of cinema and Jeet does a different kind of cinema. I do more of ensemble casting, roles that are different. In one film I’m playing a villain, in the other I’m playing a son. As an actor I can’t think of what my daughter will think when she grows up. I will never do certain kinds of roles that I have in my mind. And for that I’m sure my daughters are going to be proud of me.
Are you hands-on dads?
Jisshu: I’m more experienced than him (pointing at Jeet)! I can change nappies, I can feed them, I can give them a bath and they love having baths with me. Both of them.
Jeet: I’ve tried everything.
Jisshu: So when you have a baby you’ll understand that mothers go through a hormonal change where only husbands are the punching bags! Because of that, you get trained to change nappies. ‘What are you doing?’, ‘Can’t you see?’... these are the versions you get to hear. By default, everyone who is a father here has gone through that. You don’t connect to the baby right away. The mothers have carried the baby from day one, so the connection comes through that. With fathers, the bond actually gets created when you start doing things for them. Every dad goes through that.
Jeet: There are some things that are universally same.
Do you have any advice for would-be dads?
Jeet: Go through the experience. It’s wonderful. It teaches you everything. There is no special training for this. No advice for this.
Jisshu: If we could have a training centre for fathers... Jeet’s experience is different from mine. My experience is different from Jeet’s. Every father goes through a different kind of experience. More or less the same kind of experience, but the emotions are different.
Your daughters now have a lot of things that probably you didn’t have when you were growing up. Was there something that you ensured your children have that you didn’t have?
Jisshu: I think they are more intelligent than we were. I’m sure there was no colour TV when we were born.
Jeet: More importantly, I think they should grow up to be good human beings and everything will fall into place. My father didn’t get what we got. So it’s a cycle which continues.
Jisshu: It’s the upbringing at home. You can have education abroad, the best of things, but you can be a horrible human being. Which doesn’t make any sense to the two of us. It doesn’t make sense that you’re very rich, you have all the gold and diamond in the world but you’re not a nice person. What Jeet said is very important. You have to be a good human being first and everything else will follow.
Neha Banka
