I usually ignore it, But this time i got so mad...

I put up a picture on Instagram on Sunday and I noticed that it had a lot of likes but I hadn’t really checked the comments.

On Monday, I noticed that there were loads of comments, so I thought I’d check them because a lot of times people write very sweet comments. What I saw pissed me off. I was SHOCKED at how DISGUSTING people can be.
This is not the first time something like this has happened, and I am sure it happens to almost every woman, including celebrities like Deepika Padukone, Priyanka Chopra, Alia Bhatt, Swastika Mukherjee....
What I usually do is ignore it. But I got so mad this time that I posted another picture in the same outfit and wrote what I wanted to say on Monday night.

@parnomittra on Instagram on Monday

Amazed to see the comments on my last picture. Does social media give right to a man / a woman to blurt anything they feel like?? Hell yeah i am a woman and i have boobs nd i have an ass. If u hv an issue then donot look at my pictures. U hv the option to unfollow. Its nice to see how sexually regressive our society still remains. May be eradication is the answer to this lack of education .

I am a woman, show me some respect!

Just because we are celebrities and we are available to people doesn’t mean that they have the right to say whatever they think. I am a woman, show me some respect! You CANNOT comment on someone’s breasts or her ass. You CANNOT pinch someone’s bum. 

One of the people who commented said that it was hypocrisy to be offended when someone comments about your breasts when it is okay to post pictures of us pouting. Really?! How do they forget that they have mothers and sisters at home who could be facing the same thing?
Calling someone sexy is not bad. But telling someone ‘You have big breasts’ and ‘I want your breasts’ is simply DISGUSTING.

I have been asked what the size of my breasts are, on Twitter. Who does that?! Why do people think that they can say anything and get away with it.

Why are breasts such a big deal anyway? It is just skin and muscles. What is this obsession amongst grown men? What is the point of talking about women’s empowerment then? It means nothing.

We need to stand up against such trolls and perverts

If we want to make a safer future for the next generation we need to stand up against such trolls, body-shamers and perverts. No kind of education is going to help change this mentality. You might say that the best thing is to be unavailable to the public. I have stopped posting my pictures anyway. Only on Instagram I sometimes upload but that too very few. But that doesn’t solve anything. Why should we face something like this in the first place? Why should my sister have her bum pinched while coming back from work? 

Everybody needs to stand up against it. These people have to be stopped. You cannot be bystanders when a woman is being harassed or molested. We need to be unified against those who are doing this, not for my cause or your cause, but for humanity.

It is my life and my body and nobody owns it but me

I will not ignore it and I will not delete my accounts because it is my life and my body and nobody owns it but me. If you don’t like it, unfollow me. I could have deleted those comments but I didn’t because I wanted the world to see what these perverts are capable of. 

People who pass comments on the road or molest women should be beaten up. Similarly, this is also harassment, even if it is on social media. A lot of people told me to ignore it. That these people are not worth it and I shouldn’t get into arguments with them. But I think they need to know that they can’t get away with it.

A lot of my friends have shown their support when I posted the second picture. Other people have also come forward to show their support. I am glad these people exist but their number needs to go up.

Why should i...

• Why should I be scared when my sister comes back home late at night from work?
• Why should I, Parno Mittra, have to ask my sister not to wear shorts when going out to have phuchka in the para because I don’t want people passing comments?
• Why should anyone harass a girl for wearing shorts and smoking? Who gives them the right? 
We have to take the initiative to stand up against it. If we don’t, who will?

You must be...

Be strong and face it.

Don’t be scared. That is the first rule. They know when you are scared and they will attack you even more. You have to strike back. Don’t forget that you are a woman and you are strong. If you are being harassed on the streets hit them with whatever you have. Umbrellas, books, anything.

Just don’t ignore it.

As told to Chandreyee Chatterjee

BODY SHEROES

SWASTIKA MUKHERJEE

These men are no less than rapists. And they go scot-free!

I have often been humiliated, felt that I am being raped verbally on social media platforms, be it Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. I am no longer active on Twitter but when I was, my photographs would invariably generate lewd comments from men. Comments like, ‘why do I have small breasts’ or ‘what’s the size of my ass’, or ‘what would it take for me to go to bed with them’. It was much later that I realised that these comments were actually made to start a conversation with me. I was foolish then to lash out at them. Later they would apologise and even admit that they knew only horrible and lewd comments would get replies from me! Now I abstain from replying.

And it’s not just comments like “I wanna f**k you”. Even now when I post a picture wearing a sari men comment on how old I have become! Such is the mentality. Women are sadly just sex objects even today. 

And not just in the virtual world. I have faced perversion of the lowest order when I used to do stage shows in the suburbs. There even the slightest skin show would generate extremely lewd and nasty comments from men of all ages. I knew I was being ogled at. I knew the men in the audience were either staring at my boobs or even masturbating right there. It was disgusting.

A couple of years ago I even got two guys from Chetla arrested because they would call and harass me over the phone. What they would say is of course unprintable.

I was shocked to discover at least 100 fake accounts in my name on Facebook with pictures of me in a bikini! I took out time to delete all of them.

What’s most uncomfortable is when people comment on Mani (daughter) and my pictures. They write stuff like why is Mani, despite being my daughter, so fat and ugly! Can you imagine to what levels these perverts can go? These men are no less than rapists. They are the ones who humiliate women on the roads....and they go scot-free!

RITUPARNA SENGUPTA

These perverts speak their dirty mind on social media platforms

No matter how careful I am while posting my photographs on Facebook people always find loopholes. Comments about my cleavage and hips will always be made by cheap psychopaths who have no respect for human beings. 
I love wearing transparent dresses and I prepare myself for the lewd comments that I know they will generate. I don’t know what kind of backgrounds these perverts belong to. They speak their dirty mind on social media platforms.
In real life, however, I have never felt that I am being objectified or even if I have been, I am too preoccupied to pay attention!

KOEL MALLICK

The best way to deal with it is ignoring it

The world is full of many such people.... The best way to deal with it is ignoring it. It’s not worth wasting time responding to it because it is below your dignity to react to it. I have not encountered something like this... fortunately. Even had it happened, I wouldn’t have reacted. That is the reason someone would do that in the first place... to get a reaction. Reacting to it will mean you are giving it importance.

TONUSHREE CHAKRABORTY

Simply ignore them

I am active on Facebook and Twitter and I was trolled on social media for the first time about three-four years ago. Initially, it took me by surprise. I didn’t know what to do. I was nervous. Then I realised these are not fans. Genuine fans won’t ever do such things. Often trolls create fake accounts from which they air their views or make cheap comments. This is how they draw attention to themselves. I have never encountered them in real life. No one has dared to come up to me and comment in person. Over a period of time I have realised that the best way to deal with trolls is to simply ignore them.

The best way to handle perverts is to hit back because.... Tell t2@abp.in