As a teenager, and in college and university, I have watched films sitting between my couple friends who didn’t want to be caught together. Let me tell you that’s awkward (So, a treat followed the trauma). Catching morning shows in near-empty theatres with pairs of canoodling couples take akwardness to another level. On Friday, all that was missing in a morning show of Missing were the people. Of those present, one gentleman disappeared at interval and a gang of three thought Missing had been nominated for the Oscars. What?! Had I ‘missed’ something? 

My ears perked up, I tried hard not to ‘miss’ the point that director Mukul Abhyankar was trying to make. And this is what I gathered. 

Manoj Bajpayee’s Sushant Dubey is about to leave for an office assignment to Mauritius. The camera zooms in on Sushant banging on the door and trying to convince his wife that he wouldn’t stray. He is like a horny teenager and she’s bent on coming along with him on the tour. We also hear a child giggle in the background. Next, Sushant is shown checking into a resort with Aparna (Tabu), who has a kid in her arms. He signs the register as Mr and Mrs Dubey, but a distance is palpable and you sense something is amiss. Chaos unleashes once Titli, their ‘daughter’, goes missing the next morning. So did the two-and-a-half audience! I wish I could too.  

And, I did! As Sushant and Aparna ran around the resort trying to find Titli, I ran to the popcorn counter and stuffed my face with some cheese-y goodness. If Sushant and Aparna were not enough trouble for a groggy me, Annu Kapoor’s inspector Buddu made me dash to the porcorn counter again, twice in half an hour. 

I did not try to retrace my steps to the utterly convoluted storyline again. Are Sushant and Aparna not husband and wife? Where is Titli, or rather who is Titli? Who cares. I want to sleep.    

Tabu is awkward. Annu Kapoor is annoying. Manoj Bajpayee is hilarious, though I am sure that was not his intention. The hero of a thriller was making me laugh so hard, I was almost on the verge of bawling! Do I want some more popcorn? Yes, I do. Show khatam,  popcorn hajam!