Monday, 30th October 2017

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Blood and chor

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By Serial kisser meets serial killer as Murder 2 tries to con you into a korean copy Pratim D. Gupta Did you like/ not like Murder 2? Tell
  • Published 9.07.11

One simple question, Bhatt saab. You have written, produced and directed over 50 films and must have watched millions. Have you ever come across a movie — you do not seem the type who would sit through Guzaarish — where there is no story credit?

Then why didn’t you put any story credit in Murder 2? Aakhir kahaani tapki kahaan se, sirjee? Maybe you simply forgot to put it. Or maybe you are wise enough to know that what you have been doing for the last couple of decades, collar uthaake, may land you in a legal tangle over copyright, er, your right to copy.

Yes, the Bhatts have done it again. Copy-pasted yet another film. And this time they have discovered the Korean rack in the DVD library. Yoohoo! Park Chan-wook and Na Hong-jin, tum logon ki toh ab waat lag gayee! You guys were running from the Sanjay Guptas of the world, now get a taste of the Bhatt school of chori-chamari!

Murder 2 is a photo-copy of Hong-jin’s 2008 thriller The Chaser. And you are wondering... but wasn’t Murder a rehash of the infidelity flick Unfaithful by Adrian Lyne? Of course it was and the sequel is a serial killer movie!

At least Vikram Bhatt (haan, Bhatt logon ki toh baat hi kuch aur hai) didn’t call Deewane Huye Pagal (copy of There’s Something About Mary) Awara Paagal Deewana (copy of The Whole Nine Yards) Part 2.

But the desperation is understandable. Vishesh Films has been having a terrible time at the box office and once upon a time Raaz 2 had done well despite having nothing to do with Raaz. So why not Murder 2? Even Emraan’s no longer stuck in the duvidha of his life — to kiss or not to kiss.

The first time we see ’em together in a frame, he grabs Jacqueline by the collar, launches upon her lips, drags her to some room and thereafter whenever she is tossed into the frame — not too many times — all she needs to do is drop her clothes. Whatever little she is wearing. As if he is some trial room. “Mohabbat ya zaroorat?” she checks, like he is checking into some hotel. “Aadat,” he answers as if he is specifying the room type.

That’s like one-fourth of the film. The rest is Chaser time. Emraan is the ex-cop trying to make a quick buck by helping a pimp whose girls are disappearing regularly. Very much like the original, this one too is not a whodunit and we get to see early enough the man behind the mess.

Prashant Narayanan plays the cross-dressing serial killer who not only murders the prostitutes but then chops them up and throws them down a well in his backyard.

Now, you Korean makers you must know... what the Guptas don’t do and the Bhatts always do is try and Indianise their copies. So, like Ashutosh Rana in The Silence of the Lambs copy Sangharsh (bingo, another Bhatt production!), Prashant is a Maa Kali bhakt and he is doing all this because women should be eliminated from the world for some mumbo jumbo about seducing men and destroying their lives. Yawn!

But don’t you dare try to slip in that quick nap because there’s so much blood coming your way that you could be sick in your popcorn tub. Murder 2 should not only be classified as an adult movie. It should be off-limits for anyone with a heart condition — make that anyone with a heart, for if you don’t have a condition, Murder 2 can cause one. Nah, not a good story to tell your grandson that you developed your tachycardia for this movie!

Hashmi in Tom Hanks’s Robert Langdon hairdo doesn’t believe in emoting anymore. He looks and sounds as matter-of-fact when he is tongue-tied with Jacqueline as he does when the serial kisser beats up the serial killer.

Poor ex-Miss Sri Lanka is made to sound different in every movie. You know, depending on who is dubbing her. She vibrates her Colombo belly too, but Jaqs is no Mallika Sherawat and creates no such seismic waves on or off the screen.

Prashant Narayanan is deliciously evil. And is the only one who remembers the title of the movie, humming Bheegey honth tere before slicing up his victims. He just changes the line Tujhe subah tak main karoon pyaar into Tere tukre karoon main chaar.

The Bhatts sadly are not that subtle and are out there to con you into watching this nakal doosra. Now it’s up to you whether you want to watch Gangster 2, which could well be a copy of a Russian film about zombies.