Shahid Kapoor was the star attraction at Young Leaders Forum’s (YLF) Change of Chair 2025 programme held recently. Hosted on the largest open deck of the luxurious and opulent Bengal Paddle, it was an experience to remember as the magnificently restored British-era barge cruised smoothly on a chilly winter evening while the actor regaled the audience with a generous dollop of humorous anecdotes and witty repartees. During his conversation with the outgoing chairman of YLF, Rahul Kyal, Shahid frequently interacted with the audience, ending the session by answering a host of questions from an excited crowd of fans.

Earlier, Kyal formally handed over the chairmanship of YLF, a premier platform for young leaders and aspiring entrepreneurs in India, to Sagar Agarwal and Pratiik Jalan, the new joint bearers of the post. Excerpts from the chat with Shahid.

Any fond memories of Calcutta? Have you ever shot here?

I haven’t ever really shot in Calcutta. I once performed at the Eden Gardens for one of the IPL ceremonies and all I remember was that it rained for three hours and we kept waiting, wondering how our performance would be. My introduction was that I was riding a motorcycle and you know I was supposed to act all cool. We had decided to play Mithunda’s (Chakraborty) I am a disco dancer. And then I banged my bike because everything was so wet. I went on top of the stage and the stage broke... my foot literally went through it! I was like: ‘Abhi isse kharab kuch ho nahi sakta’. So that is a very strong memory I have of Calcutta. But even though it was raining, the people were so excited. The energy of the crowd and the way they responded to the performance was amazing.

This is a city which has an amazing kind of energy, it has its own charm. It has its own aura, and culturally it is very, very unique. I would love to come here more often and maybe this is the first of many.

You started your career as a Bollywood background dancer. You apparently were rejected in more than 100 auditions before you landed your debut film (Ishq Vishk, 2003). What was that period all about?

It was very painful, yaar, getting rejected every day. People said: ‘You are useless’, but I think thoda besharam aur dheet hona padta hain. When you start out in life, you are more confident. Now I am 43 and I have been working for over 20 years, so jab main ghoom ke dekhta hoon, I am like: ‘Yaar, bahut thick skin tha.’ I got through that really difficult period, but if you don’t have your own back, then you should not expect anybody to have it either. So the first person who has to back yourself is you, you have to learn to believe in yourself. If you believe in yourself, if you are ready to work hard, if you are ready to face rejection, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. But you have to wait for it and it took time for me. Though I started acting when I was 22, I had started working on being a hero since I was 17. Tab meri daadhi (beard) bhi nahi aati thi!

Those years taught me the most and prepared me for the many highs and lows that come with being a film actor. It is a very unpredictable job and you can never brace yourself for the journey ahead. I think this is when God was teaching me some very important lessons that were required for me to be strong enough to survive.

Ishq Vishk made you a star at 22. How did you handle the attention, fame, all the female attention especially at such a young age?

Mere dus saal ho gaye shaadi ko. Let’s not open past topics. Even though I am in Calcutta, you know how wives are. Eyes are on you! (Winks)

It was a very overwhelming time when I became an actor. I have lived a very humble, simple life. I was mostly with my mother (Neelima Azeem) who was a single, earning parent. Life was always cut to cut. I got paid nothing for my first film. But the next film was extremely successful. I remember I signed a film with a producer and he paid me a cheque of five lakh rupees. I think they were ready to pay me 35 lakh rupees for the movie. I came back home with that cheque. And I walked into my mom’s bedroom. And we actually called for pizza and we had a night. I had never seen that much money in my life at that point. Five lakhs was a lot. Those are beautiful, amazing memories.

You almost feel like it is a dream that will never come true. But dreams do come true. That part of my life was about stepping into a space that I didn’t understand. I felt I was always not good enough. I was always not good enough for the room that I was entering in. I didn’t feel like I knew how to be in that room. I didn’t feel confident enough to express myself. I would be very quiet. I would always try and stand in a corner. I was never sure about whether I am wearing the right clothes, Whether I am going to talk properly, whether I know how to interact with all these big celebrities and filmmakers and people I had grown up watching.

That was actually a very complex time. I wasn’t an insider in this space even though my dad (Pankaj Kapur) is an actor. But I didn’t live with him. He is also a very reserved person. He is not the kind who would go to filmy parties. So for me, it was all very new. That time was very much about learning how to fit in.

We want to ask you about some of our favourite characters played by you. The first is Jab We Met. How close is your character Aditya Kashyap to Shahid Kapoor?

The right answer would be, of course, I am exactly like Aditya Kashyap. But the honest answer is that I think I try to be like him, and I think we should all try to be like him. But right now, it’s a different era. Right now, it’s the era of Kabir Singh. So sometimes I have to be that also! (Laughs)

In Kaminey, you played a double role for the first time, with both characters having a speech impairment. What was that like?

I remember when Vishal Bhardwaj (director) told me about the dual role, I doubted myself. I am always very thankful for the opportunity that was given to me which I feel I didn’t deserve because I hadn’t done enough to prove myself. He saw something in me which I didn’t really see in myself.

The one thing that we were very particular about was that we didn’t want the speech defect to be treated in a comical manner. The idea was to be able to make a film about two protagonists who have speech defects and they are the heroes of our film. We did a lot of research, we met a lot of people, we tried to understand why people stammer and the psychology behind it. We found it is a physical manifestation of something emotional, so when I saw it from that point of view, it gave me such a deeper understanding. The first double role of my life portraying black and white characters in the same movie was a lot of fun. We had a blast doing the film.

You are a teetotaller and you played a character as complex as Tommy Singh in Udta Punjab, who is not only an alcoholic but also a drug addict. How did you manage to get inside his head?

When Abhishek Chaubey, who directed this film, told me the story, I took offense to it because I am Punjabi. I was like: ‘That is not Punjab!’ But he took me through a lot of research to help me understand that there is a genuine problem and the youth is extremely badly affected. He wanted me to play a character that owns that aspect. He said: ‘I want a hero who will not be the guy who saves the guy who is a drug addict. I want a hero who is ready to say... I will play that drug addict. I will show you my flaws.’ But, see, what is the whole point of being an actor?

For me, the whole point of being an actor is about expressing life. And in life, there are both right and wrong things. There are good and bad people and there are bad things in very good people and there are good things in very bad people. We are all human, we are imperfect. I thought that if I could make people understand the challenge that an addict goes through, then they are able to create some empathy in their hearts for that person. When you have empathy for somebody that you’re dealing with, it helps you deal with the situation better.

So the idea of doing this film and playing Tommy Singh was to be able to first acknowledge that there is a problem. It was a brave film to make at that time because you were making a statement about the condition of a certain state. We got stuck at the censor board for a long period of time. We went through some really interesting conversations and discussions about what we can and what we cannot show. It was a crazy film. I went and I shot in Punjab. I saw the condition there, from very close. It was probably, at that time, the most challenging character for me. I didn’t even take a sip of alcohol the whole time.

Haider is based on the Shakespeare tragedy Hamlet. How special is this movie for you in your filmography?

Haider was a tentpole film. At first, we couldn’t make the film because and nobody was interested. But there is something very classic about the film and its subject. For me, it was a no-brainer to decide to do Haider. It was very unique to have gone and shot in Kashmir during slightly turbulent times, having at least 300-400 military personnel deployed to make sure that we had no problem. It was a magical experience and will always be forever.

Kabir Singh is a dysfunctional love story, with the quintessential bad self-sabotaging guy. Though it was a big commercial success, it sparked a lot of debate. Did you feel the need to defend yourself or defend this movie?

I had the real Arjun Reddy / Kabir Singh, Sandeep (Reddy) Vanga (director). He said: ‘Tu peechhey jaa beta, main sambhalta hoon. Kya bol rahein hoon tum log?’ And then he made Animal! So, for all those people who didn’t like Kabir Singh, he said: ‘Abhi batata hoon.’

The whole point is, if you can’t say things that happen, then how will art survive? Art is made with a certain sense of humanity and with a certain sensitivity and honesty. That is the only way you can view something as an external point of view and have a kind of a sense of actually what’s happening. Because, if it never happens, then we should not make a film about it. Who are we to judge the two people who are in love, how they fell in love, why they fell in love, what works for them? But we want to comment on everybody’s love story.

Nobody says Kabir is a nice guy. He has got major issues but he genuinely loves the girl (Preeti, played by Kiara Advani). It was made with a lot of honesty and without too much overthinking. He (Vanga) made it with his heart and I think most people could sense that. Iam here to act. I am here to play all kinds of characters. I don’t want you to like me. I am not judging the character that I play. My job is to understand that guy, so that I can play him in a manner that you can understand him. You can hate him after understanding him, if you wish. And if you are deeply affected by the film, that obviously means it was an extremely potent film. That in itself is a victory for the film, that it’s been able to penetrate so deep, that it’s brought out a strong reaction from you. So I’m always going to be proud of Kabir Singh.

How did you meet your wife Mira?

I have two opposites in my personality. One is that I am an actor and I like to do these kinds of crazy things. On the other hand, I have a strong spiritual faith. I am a teetotaller and a vegetarian. I thought that either I will get a girl who will understand this side of my life or I will get a girl who will understand my actor side. But to find a girl who will be able to understand the madness of this same guy who has these very opposing sides was a challenge.

At 34, I was feeling very lonely in life. I never believed in arranged marriage. I always believed in love and that people should fall in love naturally. And that’s how it should be. But I guess I was just open enough to try something different and try something new. And it’s the best thing that happened in my life.

What is the best advice that you have got from your father?

As an actor, I have unbelievable respect for him. I would always seek his point of view. He once told me that on the big screen, less is more. That became like a guru mantra for me. It changed my entire approach to acting. When you become an actor, you feel like you know a few expressions. But to actually feel something, but not to show it physically, but just to feel it, is more effective on the big screen.

You are not part of any Bollywood camp. Do you think staying out of that social circle impacts your career in a certain way?

Everything impacts everything that you do, who you are as a person impacts every aspect of your life. So initially, you happen to be who you happen to be. But as we grow older, we have to learn to choose to be who we want to be. And you have to accept the pros and cons that come with the choices that you make or the tendencies that you have.

I have learned to become a lot more social and relaxed. A lot of that has happened because I am more comfortable with who I am.

Being an introvert was a natural tendency because I think I had a lack of confidence and I didn’t know where I belonged. But 20 years down the line, I have changed certain aspects of myself. I have learned to grow and evolve and change. One good thing about being an introvert is that at least you are not faking it. But you have to be comfortable with yourself.

How much of your success do you attribute to hard work and how much to good luck?

The fact that I am an actor is attributed completely to good luck. The fact that I have been here for 22 years is attributed completely to my hard work.