I am 18. I love a guy who lives far away. I’ve never met him. I have only seen him. I keep looking at his pictures. I feel good when I do this. I want to marry him but he’s very rich and I belong to a middle class family. He doesn’t know that I love him and has never seen me. Help.

Name and address withheld

Hey listen little poetess: we are busy people and have precious little time for all your silly poetry: if you haven’t told this bloke that you love him, what do you expect me to do? We aren’t running a love-courier company here: this is a column meant for depressed and depraved people and its sole purpose is to depress them more. So my advice is, for starters, tell this photograph you love him and then see how he responds. If all else fails, I am always available.

I am a 19-year-old man. I am in love with a girl who is my classmate. I love her very much. I want to convey to her that I am attracted to her but I am afraid of her saying no. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

Listen son, it is better you confront that woman and then see where you stand or else you will grow old thinking some woman loves you when she actually detests you. If you have a friend, and you are still stupidly shy, ask that friend to check with the woman. But after reading your letter, you seem to be the wimp no sensible woman will ever love unless of course they revel in being with sissies: if that be the case, then you have a chance!

I am 17. I have been very close to a girl for about four months. As expected, people gossip about us being in a relationship. Now she avoids me as much as possible. I don’t want to lose such a special friend but I think I can’t help it now. She doesn’t even reply to my texts. I am very upset.

Name and address withheld

Then dump her: life is too short for us to now worry about every cow we meet and her emotions. Just move on: it will be very hard work to clarify things with her and then on top of that to win her back. So it is best you move on and in the process stay out of my life too. I can do without insipid blokes like you interrupting my Sundays.

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: aakolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 98309 93132
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org

Narcotics anonymous (Kolkata area helpline)

Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts

HelpAge India

1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)

Sparsha

AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS
(10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)

Pronam

38/1, Beltala Road,Calcutta - 19
Senior Citizen’s Emergency
Co-ordination Control Room
Ph: 2419 074