My cousin often gets in trouble with her boyfriend and later forces me to lie to help her out of the sticky situations. I don’t mind helping her but my conscience pricks me every time I lie to her boyfriend. How should I make my cousin understand without making her feel bad?
Name and address withheld
Just tell her that you don’t want her to be cursed by the TMC for being a liar and deceitful when everyone at the TMC is so transparent and honest: then tell her about a dream that you’ve had where you can see her falling off the Howrah Bridge if you lie on her behalf again. But here’s the truth: I don’t think she cares a toss. So one day when you finish lying to whoever you’ve lied to, tell them you’ve been lying and when your cousin finds out, blame it on alcohol or some silly cartoon that you may have seen.
A few years ago a man broke my heart. He soon got married and now has a kid. A few days ago he called me suddenly saying that he had made a mistake by leaving me and wanted me back in his life. If he thought I would go sprinting into his arms he is wrong. He had played with my heart and now he is about to ruin another woman’s life. How can I teach him a lesson?
Name and address withheld
Listen darling, for starters, I am a very very busy man. I have an entire country’s problems to solve so keep your questions short. You’re not some TV anchor that I have to keep listening to before I squeeze two words in. Now as to how to deal with him. You must meet him without obviously being so goddamn athletic and then make sure mentally you remain miles away from him. String him along: make him take you on expensive holidays; buy you amazing gifts; even sacrifice his career for you. And then one day, send him a sweet abbreviated text which says GFYS. That’s it. That will be divine revenge.
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org
Narcotics anonymous
(Kolkata area helpline) Ph: 9836223071;
www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts
HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)
Sparsha
AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships
and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)
