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| Prasad Bidappa |
Brain-dead celebs
Celebrities and stupidity seem to go together. And this week we have an interesting selection of renowned retards. In the red corner, we present Bengal’s son-in-law Mansur Ali Khan Pataudi, alleged hunter of black bucks, who clearly never read about the Salman Khan case ? or thought that going into hiding after the allegations became public would be a solution. And in the green corner, we have the man who raised a crop of beauties in Bangalore, but who is now trapped by grass in arid, rigid Dubai ? Prasad Bidappa, who clearly never read about the Vijay Raaz case. Meanwhile, newspaper readers all over the country smack their heads in frustration. A request to the big-time brain-dead, if you’re going to be stupid, can you at least be original?
Batman returns
Batman Begins is in India, and I’m kicking myself for not having seen it yet. This movie features Christian Bale, Michael Caine, a Kevlar bat-suit, a hang-glider bat-cape and a giant Humvee batmobile. I’m licking my lips here. With this movie, Memento director Christopher Nolan takes the Dark Knight into darker territory than he’s ever been in before, into a desolate, bleak world far removed from the cheery comics where the cowled crimefighter first swung into action and the trendy, colourful Gotham seen in the last two movies. We’re talking the blood-and-guts, vicious and visceral universe seen in the post-Eighties Batman graphic novels, like Frank Miller’s classic The Dark Knight Returns, an all-time personal favourite. And if this movie succeeds, there’s a chance they’ll finally turn Miller’s novel into a film. Also on the wish-list: a movie version of Batman: Absolution, a graphic novel where Batman comes to India in pursuit of terrorists.
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| IT SEEMS I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO thought Christina Aguilera’s music was torture. Her music has reportedly been used to interrogate Mohammed al Qahtani, a leading al-Qaeda suspect at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. So much for Pentagon claims of humane treatment. |
Old and running
Here’s an Indian to be proud of ? Fauja Singh, the world’s oldest marathon runner. Singh recently completed the Edinburgh marathon. He was part of a four-man team called Sikhs in the City, combined age 397. 'I hope we will inspire young people to keep going and older people never to give up,” said Singh.
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| Navjot Singh Sidhu |
Sherry talk
And here’s another Indian who’s certainly proud of himself. Navjot Singh 'Sherry’ Sidhu, the most embarrassing mascot ever for a nation’s sense of humour, was recently asked in a radio interview to reveal the secret source of his oratorical strength. He was once a shy guy, Sidhu revealed ? every time he scored a century he would blush bashfully at the thought of meeting the press. But then divine powers, no doubt with bad taste in TV, intervened. Meditation and religion, said Sherry, were what uncorked his tongue and made him the verbal volleyball he is today. Atheists all over the country are no doubt partying.
AWARD OF THE WEEK
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In keeping with the theme this week, the award goes to India’s stupidest celebrity, Mumbai’s full-time party animal and P3 icon Kishen Mulchandani, who recently defended high-society paedophilia. ‘How do you know the child is not inclined towards it?’