A packed house listens to a talk on Bridging the Communication Gap on Monday. Picture by Sanjoy Chattopadhyaya

“Communication is man’s glory. No other organism has this privilege. From the way the body is structured — nose, ears, lungs, mouth, tongue, voice box… — it’s all about communication. That is the way we are built. For a child to be articulate, he/she has to be exposed to a wide variety of sounds from a very young age. But, sadly, we are losing that ability, despite new methods like e-mails and SMS. Because we cannot listen.”

And so began a lesson on communication, or the lack thereof, in this age of technology and in a culture that prides itself on its literary works. But the existence of the Vedas and Upanishads is not enough, was the cautionary advice from Vasantha R. Patri, chairperson of the Indian Institute of Counselling, New Delhi, during a programme organised by the Ladies Study Group on Monday, aptly titled ‘Bridging the Communication Gap’. Although communication is just “transfer of information”, the how and what of the message, as well as the intention behind, is important, so “be watchful”.

During the presentation, the packed audience listened in agreement as the former teacher of psychology at Lady Shri Ram College explained that from marital breakdown to unrest between countries, it all boils down to communication trouble — either not enough or inadequately conveyed, rendering it ineffective. There are many different forms of communication, verbal and non-verbal, explained Patri.

“The best way is from neutral to passive, where the information and advice are provided, but the person is allowed to make up his/her own mind. Touch is a very powerful form of communication, particularly with children. When it’s good touch, it’s the best way to communicate. But we are losing it slowly,” said the psychologist and professional counsellor.

Be open and sensitive, control your emotions, don’t convey contradictory signals, listen carefully without distractions, get the semantics and culture-specific details right, don’t avoid tough topics, don’t judge or evaluate the speaker, don’t put across your prejudices… The list was for effective communication is long. The barriers, too, are endless, from standards of living to education levels. The key is to be sensitive and focused, added Patri, as everyone nodded in understanding.