Women matter at the Pujas.

Males, including gods, mortals or anything in between, such as an asura with a buffalo head, end up looking rather poor in the vicinity of Ma Durga. She towers over everyone, which may make the males around her feel small, for they are still not used to looking up to the other sex. It may give them a pain in the neck.

But Durga, She who is invincible, was born when energy from all the gods, all male, converged at a point, to invert gender stereotypes. Though blondes continue to be dumb, in India as well, as Durga’s trishul drives through Mahishasura, the goddess represents enlightenment overcoming ignorance: “Mahashatimayee chaitanyarupini”.

Is that why men feel a little scared during Puja? Even Kartik and Ganesh look marginalised, bringing up the sides of the divine family.

Is that why men try to do just about everything, from “organising” the budget, the idols, choosing the decorator, lights, menu, while women are allowed to manage the “cultural” side, the slicing of the apple and to pleat the sari? Do men know that most of what they do at the Puja can be — are — managed by women, quite well, every day, at their homes and offices?

But this is not to say men are not required. They are, for the following reasons:

# To lift the idols, into and out of the pandal. Men conduct it with the precision of a military drill, with as much noise. Earth-shattering shouts of “Bolo Durga Mai Ki” replace the booming guns. Men need to shout when they are doing important work. It’s an ancient oral tradition. The truck driver, who is required to bring the vehicle closest to the seat of the idols, is given endless instructions — another ancient oral tradition.

# To look silly wearing the magenta embroidered kurta. Women can never manage to look like that, in anything.

# To play the DJ at the Puja pandals, which requires the person at the music system to be constantly and passionately indifferent to music.

# To start belly dancing, suddenly, drunk, at the para function. Women still can’t do it at the pandal.

# To look superior doing all these.

# To be the purohit. There is, perhaps, more poetry in the priest being a man: a man invoking the Mother Goddess resonates more. The more mature he is in years, the better he looks in this role.

# To look at women, especially during sindur khela. As the Puja draws to a close, it culminates softly in the visarjan and the sindur ceremony, a poignant and almost erotic end to the five-day grand passion. As women smear each other with sindur, they look bathed in a celestial light themselves and the men look captivated. Some women cry, for the Mother who is going away, for their own mothers, for themselves. Some love to watch the men watching.

And Mahadeva, the god of destruction, hanging in a picture above Durga, watches everything. Then the men lift the Devi away and all that is left is an empty pandal.