For multiple reasons, it is difficult to write about a film like Housefull 5. The first and the most simple reason is that it is not a film. This is a string of perverse jokes, lewd gags, lame dialogues and loud decibels that play out in a loop over a mostly tortuous 166 minutes. Second, the makers are delusional enough to think this is a film, because of which they have released two versions — ‘A’ and ‘B’ — both of which have the same beginning and middle but different endings. Having endured almost three hours of Housefull A — with no intention of watching Housefull B, even if held at gunpoint — I can safely say that even if 20 more versions of Housefull 5 are released, each of them will be unwatchable.
I know anything goes in the Housefull franchise. But shouldn’t there at least be a semblance of a semi-engaging story to balance out the unabashed sexist jokes and the outright stupidity on display? Obviously that thought never crossed the minds of its director Tarun Mansukhani or that of his 20-odd actors, many of who are veterans, and just not limited to the Housefull films.
Both romantic partners and dead bodies are swapped in this aspiring comedy of errors which takes place primarily on a luxury liner. In what is perhaps one of the genuinely rare laugh-out-loud moments in the film, tycoon Ranjeet (played by yesteryear villain Ranjeet) sways hilariously between life and death, before finally kicking the bucket. Despite having an heir (Dev, played by Fardeen Khan), Ranjeet leaves a will that says that his property will be inherited by his son named Jolly. Cue for as many as three Jollys — Akshay Kumar, Abhishek Bachchan and Riteish Deshmukh — to land up, staking a claim. Soon, a series of murders take place and everyone is a suspect. Even as cops Baba (Jackie Shroff) and Bhidu (Sanjay Dutt) — yes, we know! — arrive to solve the mystery, Housefull 5’s cringe levels keep soaring. There are a series of choreographed dance numbers, even while people are being bumped off left, right and centre. But why should that come in the way of Laal pari, The Phoogdi dance, Qayamat and Dil-e-naadan? None of the songs are memorable, except that ear-wormy drunken drawl in Laal pari.
Nothing is off-limits in the world of Housefull 5. Jokes on women’s bodies are a given. A character exists only so that men can look up her skirt and down her cleavage. Someone talks about taking a khukri and jamming it into another’s backside. Jokes about pubic hair and sex positions crop up time and again. When a character speaks in Urdu, she is addressed as: “Ey Ghalib ki thuki huyi paan.” At some point, someone is referred to as “lehsun ki baans”. It requires extraordinary ability and confidence to pen lines like these and pass them off in what is claimed to be a legitimate film.
Akshay Kumar, a staple in all the Housefull films, predictably powers the latest instalment, but is this really the kind of material a star of his standing should even associate with? Abhishek and Riteish tap into their always reliable funny side and come up with some laughs, but genuine comic talents like Johny Lever and Chunky Panday are appallingly underutilised. Shreyas Talpade and Dino Morea operate on the fringes, while the women — Jacqueliene Fernandez, Nargis Fakhri, Sonam Bajwa, Chitrangda Singh and Soundarya Sharma — stand around to be objectified or give reaction shots to their male co-stars. Nana Patekar features in a cameo, but all expectations of that being close to his hilarious Uday Bhai act in Welcome bite the dust.
In Housefull 5, Akshay ‘battles’ a talking parrot named Gucci and does the obligatory Housefull ‘slap session’ with a couple of what look suspiciously like CGI monkeys. No animals, says the disclaimer, were harmed in the making of this film. But what about us humans dying a painful death in the theatre?
