The killing of Bali in the Ramayan raises doubts in the writer’s mind

My life changed dramatically after the death of my husband Madhu. As I have already written, I will not go into details about how I landed at Vrindavan in search of peace of mind and heart.

It was about that time when I was becoming more and more attracted towards the Ramayan, but it was more of a morbid fascination.

I was terribly put off by some of the incidents in Ramayan, which too did not seem right, like the killing of Bali by deception. However, at that time I was being pressurised to take up the study of the epic at the Institute of Oriental Philosophy in Vrindavan.

My mentor and guide at Vrindavan, Upen Chandra Lekharu, asked me write a letter to Father Kamil Bulke, originally from Belgium who had studied at Allahabad University and become an authority on the Ramayan.

He had acquired a master’s degree in Hindi from the university and had also been awarded a doctorate for a thesis on the Ramayan. It was quite an achievement for a Jesuit priest who was greatly influenced by the Ramayan.

Lekharu sir asked me to write to Fr Bulke who was at that time based in Ranchi. When I first saw him he was reading a book under the shade of a banyan tree.

It was a first meeting in a divine setting. He took me to his small cottage and asked me about my dilemma. I introduced myself and told him what was creating doubts in my mind, about the “contradictions” in the Ramayan. And I told him that despite pressure from my friends and family, I was not being able to accept the epic. The father was very calm and composed as he tried to remove the cobwebs from my mind. He told me to read his book, Ram Katha, where I will find answers to all my queries.

“Come, come with me — let me show you something,” he told me as he almost dragged me to the courtyard. “Can you see that aeroplane flying in the skies?”

I looked up and, indeed, there was an aeroplane flying high above in the skies. He asked me again, “Do you see any dust raised by the plane?” It was a strange question but I replied nevertheless, “No, there is no dust here.”

“It will never. But in some versions of the Ramayan you will find dust storm on earth when the divine rath, Pushpak, flies through the skies. These are because of interpolations. There is more. Originally, Ravan was a very learned man, who had full knowledge of the Vedas and he spoke in the purest form of Sanskrit. He had built the Golden Lanka. But in some versions of the Ramayan, he has been portrayed as a bloodthirsty monster who drank human blood. Can you imagine a man as wise as Ravan to stoop to such a level? These are all because of interpolations. Clear your heart and read the Ramayan in its purest form. Your dilemma will go,” he had told me.

As I proceeded to take leave, the Father touched my forehead and blessed me, “Always be on the right side. No harm will come to you. May God bless you.” I was a changed woman that day, clear in my mind. I had found my calling. The Ramayan it was.

CLARIFICATION: In an earlier episode I had written about my mother’s family and that it was not very economically well-off. However, I would like to clarify that it was by choice and not because of any misfortune. My mother’s brother, Pushpanath Phukan, was a top-ranking official in the income tax department. But he was such a simple, straight man that none could ever make out about his status. He had never indulged in corruption in his entire life and had run the entire family with his salary. My mother’s family still takes pride in his clean image.

I had also made a grave mistake where I had written that I was born in Sivasagar. Actually, I was born in a quarter on the present-day Cotton College campus. Hope the readers will forgive me for the oversight.