There is something called a ‘mom vocab’, coined by a mother for sure, and passed on down the generations. This vocabulary includes sass, snark, absolute statements replicating Amitabh Bachchan’s iconic “keh diya so keh diya” from K3G, and endless love masquerading as guilt.
It also, of course, includes shrugging, eye-rolling and harrumphing, in their trademarked style. Following this tradition, every Bong mom too has some phrases without which the whole mom package would be incomplete. So, on the eve of Mother’s Day, here’s a collection of a few such gems from mommies dearest that still work on us now like they did when we were kids…
‘Amake maa bole dakbi na’
Toh ki bole dakbo? Aunty? No! that is not the right response unless you’re looking for trouble and a stare to send a good chill down the spine! This go-to line of every Bong mom to bring about obeyance is the ultimate threat tactic. ‘If you don’t do this, then don’t call me mother either.’ Classic!
‘Maa/Baba haw tarpor bujhbi’
To this, you may be tempted to ask if all wisdom comes after becoming a parent, but refrain! Don’t forget the ‘mom-card’ negates all arguing/debating/asking rational questions.
‘Maayer dibyi bol…’
The police have their methods, and mothers have their own. And both are deadly! Whether you are none or 90, your mum will investigate and interrogate you on your every move. And unlike the cops, she needs no court order. The walking lie detectors that they are, ‘maayer dibyi bol’ usually elicits the truth, and you lose all the well-crafted arguments (lies?) you prepared in the shower.
‘Khete bose kotha bolle maa morey jay’
Don’t look for logic, rationality, or search for case references. #MomLogicSupremacy
‘Ami jokhon thakbona tokhon bujhbi’
This emo-blackmail never fails, because it really has us imagining the sad situation. Another weapon to disarm you in seconds.
‘Aaj tor ekdin ki amar ekdin’
One line, many shivers and legit bhoy. From mommy dearest to mommy fear-est. That’s one transformation we seriously don’t want to witness.
‘Ki re, bolechilam toh?’
Another classic. The ‘I-told-you-so’ line never gets old, especially when they are right. It’s a mother’s instinct after all, as they say.
‘Ki roga hoye gechis’
Every child is underfed in his/her mother’s eyes. If you are dieting or gymming hard for that desired collar bone pop-up or a few abs, you are under-nourished and nothing can stop her from fattening you up! And if you say no, prepare for multiple mumbles of ‘Haan, amar kotha keno shunbi’.
‘Maayer kotha na shunle maa more jay’
This one is downright terrifying. To which the only response can be full compliance – no wisecracks, no questions. She wins, happily.
Happy Mothers’ Day, moms. We love you.