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Life in a metro where the Metro has yet to come to life

The #neverdiespirit of Vikram Poddar, ‘That Marwari boy from 24 Parganas’, in his latest laugh column

Vikram Poddar | Published 11.06.22, 05:00 PM
Vikram Poddar

Vikram Poddar

This is VIP Road. Where traffic is now slower on account of Metro construction so everyone can stare at the VIPs. This is Ballygunge Circular Road, where rich Marwari families circle each other for arranged marriages. This is College Street, where you can die of suffocation in the summer. But hopefully you learnt something from the experience.

And this is the Kolkata Metro site. Well at least the site part is true. For it is indeed a sight to behold. But after all, this is the true spirit of communism. That one must suffer now for the greater good so that a precious few can profit later. I would like to know if a tram service is being planned between the Metro construction sites. So we can kill two angry birds with one stone.


This is Haldiram’s. Mainly because Haldiram’s is everywhere. This is Atmosphere. Because you paid a few crores to breathe pollution-free atmosphere from this luxury unreal estate.

This is Burra Bazar, or should I say, Burra Bizarre. And just like New York and Mumbai are called sister cities, perhaps so are Burra Bazaar and Kalbadevi. Where multi-crore fortunes play cheek by jowl with dirty congested lanes. Whose owners will also have three-storey mansions… but decorated with paan stains in the washrooms.

This is KK’s music telling me: “Pyaar ke pal is ok but I can assure you Topshe, it does not matter whether the Metro in Kolkata ever gets constructed fully. Because life in a metro, just like that song by Oliver Tree, goes on and on and on. But whenever we come to Esplanade, one of us needs to get off. Mainly because Esplanade is the only Metro station one remembers from childhood. So this is where I say goodbye. But I am sure for the Feluda in each and everyone of you who have shown me love over the years, the adventure continues”.

…..and hope lives on in this columnist’s heart, that somewhere our beloved KK was actually Pradosh Mitter in disguise all along. And the whole thing was an elaborate hoax. To uncover a bigger conspiracy. But enough about the headless football statue in Salt Lake.

The author, Vikram Poddar, is a Marwari investment banker turned corporate comedian. The views expressed in this article are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website.

Last updated on 11.06.22, 05:01 PM

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