A great deal has been written about the typical Indian male. He is put on a pedestal by the women of his household and waited upon hand and foot. He is not allowed to even fetch himself a glass of water, let alone contribute to any housework. Tradition demands that all domestic chores fall into the wife’s area of responsibility, and men, brainwashed into believing this, are only too happy to fall in with custom. Never mind that their wives are doing full-time jobs and contributing to the family income. Even if they are inclined to lend a hand, they are deterred by the thought that they will lose face if they help in the house.
But Rajat, a 60-year-old bhadrolok, has given the lie to this concept. What makes his case so noteworthy is the background from which he hails. Born into a conservative, orthodox family, Rajat was brought up to believe that he had the right to be looked after by his wife and daughter. This belief was reinforced by his wife who insisted on doing all the cooking and cleaning. Though her grown-up, unmarried daughter frequently helped her, it never occurred to her husband to do so. Indeed, all through his working years, Rajat had unthinkingly availed of his supposed right to be waited upon.
But then came retirement, and a severely curtailed income. Having held middling (or piddling) jobs all his working life, Rajat had not been able to make any substantial savings, and now, reduced to living on a small pension, the family found itself in dire financial straits. Rajat himself was not in particularly good health, and to find new employment to augment the family income seemed to be out of the question. It was left to his wife and daughter to find a way out. This was not easy, since they had no qualifications for a job. However, undaunted, they both trained in yoga, and soon began to give private yoga lessons.
Their days, starting early and ending late, are gruelling. But astonishingly, when they get home, the house is clean and there is a hot meal waiting for them, cooked by none other than Rajat! In spite of his upbringing, he feels that it is only right that he should take on the domestic chores, if his wife and daughter are to be the breadwinners. He recognises and accepts the fact that roles have been reversed. While his womenfolk have learnt to earn a living, he has begun to tutor himself in the art of cooking and cleaning.
Do the neighbours frown and raise their eyebrows in disapproval? Do they whisper “What kind of women are these to let the man of the house cook and clean?” I have no doubt that they do, but let them. Times are a-changing and The Indian Family Ltd is in the process of effecting a change in its articles of association. The Complete Man today, as we can see on our television screens, is a new creature, kind, considerate and caring, who, unfettered by the dictates of tradition, is happy to turn his hand to whatever needs to be done. And he has arrived not a day too early.
