Bindra, Rathore

Beijing, Aug. 12: The teary emotion India was denied in victory yesterday, it got in soul-shattering defeat this morning.

Abhinav Bindra was his usual stoical self the day after his 10m air rifle gold but his teammate and India’s first individual silver medallist, Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore, broke down after failing to qualify for the double trap final.

But if the army colonel, who tallied 131 to finish 15th in a field of 19, found it difficult to put on a smile for the cameras, so did the man who has replaced him as India’s Olympic hero.

When a group of reporters bumped into Abhinav at the shooting range, he was standing in a corner in his white T-shirt and green bermudas, almost looking lost.

“I’m waiting for Mr Murugan (the chef de mission),” the 25-year-old, who returns to India tomorrow, said softly. You almost had to strain your ears to hear him.

Asked how it felt the day after the triumph, he said: “Just like I did yesterday morning.”

Nirupama Rao, India’s ambassador to China, met the shooter briefly to hand over congratulatory messages from the President and Prime Minister. He accepted them politely, his face expressionless.

Abhinav posed for photographs with the handful of supporters around and signed autographs, but hardly smiled. Not even when he was shown a copy of The China Daily which has Abhinav being congratulated by his coach Gabriele Buhlmann as the lead picture.

The accompanying story was headlined: “One day in the life of a nation of 1.1 billion people.”

Today, however, was one contrasting day in the life of two Indian stars, past and present.

Rathore was trying to swallow his disappointment as faced the reporters, standing upright and looking very fit and every bit the colonel that he is.

“The last four years since Athens haven’t been easy. A number of issues made my decision to go ahead with the next Olympics a difficult one --- issues which I wouldn’t want to make public,” he said.

He explained the reasons for his failure today, number one being that reading the target --- especially the number one target --- hadn’t been easy.

Suddenly he couldn’t go on any more. As the tears came out, he quickly disappeared into the changing room.

He emerged after a while, struggling to get a hold on himself, to announce he would take some time off, spend a few days with his family and play with his children before deciding what he would do next.

Would it be a goodbye to shooting? “I love the sport and it would be difficult to wean myself away from it… but I certainly need to decide whether I want to seriously compete again,” he said.

“I have lived my life well and lived it for others, which has given me immense satisfaction. It is not easy when you have such thoughts because too many emotions get involved. But that’s the way I am.”

Too many emotions? Abhinav was asked what he was thinking while firing his last shot yesterday.

“My mind was completely blank. I just went for it and was lucky it went my way,” he replied.

How did he celebrate last night? “By going to bed early. I was too tired.”

In a blog he posted last evening, however, Abhinav wrote: “I am not much good at making loud public pronouncements. That in no way means that this is not the most intense experience of my life.”

He added: “It has all still not sunk in. I will post more once the feeling settles.”

“He’s an amazing guy. Super cool,” Rathore said. “It was an excellent achievement.”