The world expected a tell-all but Zayn Malik has delivered a series of behind-the-scenes issues like anxiety, eating disorder, fashion sense.... Zayn is more of a scrapbook of photographs, collages and illustrations interspersed with the thoughts of a 23-year-old. And no, he doesn’t talk about Gigi Hadid and only mentions Little Mix’s Perrie Edwards a few times, like they were once together and then they weren’t. Yet, there is plenty to know about the Mind of Mine artiste in the Penguin Random House book (the Kindle edition is priced Rs 621).

One Direction: I can honestly say I’m proud of a lot of stuff from the One Direction days. I’m not sure people realise that, but I am…. One Direction was an incredible experience in its own right, and it’s a part of me, an integral part of my history, and I’m never going to deny that aspect of my life. 

Leaving One Direction: Sometimes, you have to do what’s best for you, otherwise you’re no use to anyone. Nothing good would have come from dragging it out any longer. [Zayn left 1D in March 2015]

Women: I was always brought up to respect women, both my parents instilled that in me, and in my experience women have been the most intelligent, peaceful, and positive influences in my life. I don’t want to generalise too much, but definitely in my experience, I’ve found the whole macho world of male aggression and insecurity to be a lot more difficult to exist in. I always say, if you want a genuinely peaceful and intelligent solution to a problem, get a woman to solve it.

Fashion: I’ve always had a bit of an individual style, even when I was a kid — for real. I hated school uniforms, and all the rules, having to wear a tie and shit. But when I sussed out that there were no rules regarding how we wore our school blazers, I would walk around the place with one arm in a sleeve, the other out, with my jacket dangling over a shoulder.

Anxiety: [The former Directioner had announced he was unable to perform at Capital Summertime Ball in June because of anxiety] I just couldn’t go through with it. Mentally, the anxiety had won. Physically, I knew I couldn’t function. I would have to pull out. One of my team members offered to write a statement saying that I’d been taken ill, but I didn’t want to do that. I was done with putting out statements that masked what was really going on. I wanted to tell the truth. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of; it affects millions of people every day.

Eating disorder: When I look back at the images of myself from around November 2014, before the final tour, I can see how ill I was. Something I’ve never talked about in public before, but which I have come to terms with since leaving the band, is that I was suffering from an eating disorder.

Dad and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan: One day when I was working with (producer) Malay, we got talking about my dad (Yaser Malik). I was telling Malay about my relationship with him and how important it was for me to do well for him, to earn his approval. My dad’s a hard worker and he has strong values. He was a personal trainer and is solidly built, and he used to go on at me all the time about being a good student and getting the right education. He wanted the best for me, and I wanted to please him in return.... 

Malay had his portable recording rig with him and the pair of us were talking about the Pakistani musician Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. I was really into him, because my dad had played his music a lot at home; I loved that the dude sang in Urdu, for one thing. A lot of people who know his music reckon he was one of the greatest artists of all time. He also turned a lot of people on to qawwali music.

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