The bucket bearer
This person is seen lugging around a bucket throughout the party with the intention to drench somebody, but his/her pail is usually emptied by the pichkari people who need to refill their guns before he/she can reach the target, forcing them to trudge back to the tap for a refill.

The touchy-feely
He — it is always a he — will use the confusion that is Holi to cop a feel. He works in the crowd, so half the time you have no idea who was the one who touched you inappropriately. He is usually the one spurring group attacks on unsuspecting women.

The touch-me-not
They will turn up at a Holi party and then run around with their arms stretched across their bodies, squealing “pleeeease... not me!” when anyone approaches them with even harmless abir. They are immediately termed nyaka. We wish they would just stay at home.

The dirty doer
This person likes playing dirty, literally, and will come to Holi parties armed with eggs and tomatoes which he/she will want to smash on your head and face. Once they run out of ammo they’ll use anything that they can lay their hands on — from muck to alcohol — because plain colour is just too lame for them.

The scrubber
This person is usually found in front of a sink scrubbing his/her face, arms and neck to remove the minutest trace of colour. They diligently slap moisturiser on every exposed body part before venturing into the battlefield, to make it easier to remove the colour post-play. They will repeat the process every half-an-hour in between the play. 

The selfieholic
She — it is invariably a she — will carefully coordinate the colours you put on her face, so that she gets the perfect selfie. If it’s red on her left cheek, she will stick out the right for you to put some pink. She will even risk her phone for it and document every stage of her Holi face, from pristine to unrecognisable, through her two score selfies. 

The pro-organic
He or she will fork out a good amount to get 100g of (almost) colourless abir because it is natural, healthy and doesn’t cause any damage to the skin. They will insist that you use only this specially bought organic powder on them. And they will freak out if anyone even takes a step closer with abir bought from the market. 

The Rabindrik
Holi attire will always be a yellow or white kurta for him, and a yellow or white sari with flowers on the hair for her. They will insist on playing only with abir and stage choreographed dance performances to Rabindrasangeet.

The self-colourist
Poor sod, he/she is not anyone’s first choice when it comes to playing Holi and in order to not stick out like a sore thumb they will surreptitiously put colour on themselves and leave some tell-tale signs, making sure they at least look like they were in the thick of things. 

The hermit
This person stocks up on books, movies, songs and alcohol three days before Holi and settles in for a day spent entirely at home to avoid being in contact with a) colour and b) people with colour on them. They appear absolutely spotless the day after.

The fashionista
The usual Holi attire of old and tattered clothes is not for her. She has her Holi outfit planned weeks in advance, which will most probably be all-new and absolutely on trend, whether it is hot pants and ganjee or harem pants and sleeveless tee.

The balloon terrorist
This person will scope out the highest point at the party place and arm himself/herself with a bucket full of water balloons and target everyone. There is no escaping him/her. In fact, be prepared to be hit in the most inconvenient of places at the most inopportune moment. 

The drunk
There will be at least someone who is drunk by the end of an hour’s play and will insist on singing at the top of their voice, giggling uncontrollably and behaving inappropriately. This person will most probably be discovered sleeping under a table.

The enabler
He doesn’t have to man a bar to achieve his aim of the day — getting as many people drunk as possible. He will sling an arm around your shoulder, artfully guiding you to the bar as soon as your glass is empty. He will challenge you to finish your drink bottoms up and he will keep saying “one for the road” every time you want to call it a day.

Add to the list at t2@abp.in