Iassumed that 2016 would be a year that Hrithik Roshan would want to erase from his memory. Mohenjo Daro, his only release of the year, was a box-office disaster and then there was that very public and ugly spat with Kangana Ranaut. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. Days before the release of Kaabil, his only release for 2017, Hrithik sat down at Mumbai’s Sun ’n’ Sand hotel to talk about failures, the big clash with Shah Rukh Khan’s Raees, and his relationship with ex-wife Sussanne.

Is it true that you heard the story of Kaabil and then suggested that your dad Rakesh Roshan hear it?

Yes. It was an amazing story. I heard it from Sanjay (Gupta, the film’s director) and thought it was interesting. It’s that simple. My second (Fiza) and third films (Mission Kashmir) were with big names and they bombed at the box office. That taught me the biggest lesson about being an actor very early in life — it’s always all about the script.

And when a film doesn’t work, is your belief in your ability to pick the right script shaken?

Not at all. It gets reaffirmed. It makes you reflect back to the moment when you had first read the script. How much did it stir you? Did you cry or laugh or get goosebumps or jump with excitement? If the script doesn’t evoke an emotion in you, the film will do nothing to the audience. The audience’s reaction is directly proportionate to my reaction when I first hear a script.  

The last time you played a character with disability was Guzaarish. I remember you prepped a lot before the shoot started. Was it the same for Kaabil?

Absolutely! I do as much as I need to do to feel comfortable in front of the camera. Your search for who your character is has to end before you face the first shot for the film. It’s always the small details like the way he’d enter the room or sit down to eat or walk.

Over the last one year, there’s been a lot of talk about your career and where you are headed... especially after Mohenjo Daro...

That’s one film. Let’s recap... my last film Mohenjo Daro didn’t fare well at the box office. For me, even that failure was a good experience. It reveals the truth to you. I love disillusionment because it means the illusion in your head has been shattered. Truth is the only way to progress. I am very happy when I am showed my mistakes. Failures help me recalibrate.

Before Mohenjo Daro, I had Bang Bang that did Rs 180 crore at the box office. Before that was Krrish 3 that made Rs 240 crore. I have done very very well in my career... and I have also failed. That’s a very normal trajectory of life. You can’t expect to get everything right. Which is why you call this life an adventure. You learn from your mistakes.  

There is so much that’s already been said and written about the clash between Kaabil and Raees. Has this made you relook Bollywood and its relationships in a new light?

Not in a bad way. You learn that this is a place of work. This is your work world and you have to grant everyone the permission to do the best that they need to do for their work. I am very fair in my mind like that. I always want the best for myself and I extend the same to everyone else. If the best for them is a clash with my film, then so be it. I only wish that the next time a film like Raees is releasing, I hope they plan better. As you know, Raees has been waiting for a release for a year-and-a-half. It’s been in production for four years. Better planning by the producers would go a long way in avoiding clashes like this.

Your dad is very upset about this clash...

And he is allowed to be! As a producer, he had taken good care to not clash with any other film in November and December. His film was ready, but he decided to wait because he didn’t want to clash. Say if we had come with Dear Zindagi (starring Shah Rukh Khan), that wouldn’t have been right. My father believes that, but he can’t expect everyone else to have the same ideals. Expecting the world to be fair to you is like expecting a lion to not eat you because you are vegetarian! I am at peace and my father is allowed to be upset.

Last October, you talked about depression and mental health. Why was it important for you to address the subject?

I just feel very strongly about it. I think it’s a subject that’s taboo and it’s been conditioned very incorrectly in our minds. Depression should not be something that makes you lose your self-worth or feel awkward to talk about. Get professional help or talk to people around you. Depression is an affliction that affects all of us in different degrees. Most aren’t clinically depressed, but all of us have had moments when you thought life is worthless... when you don’t want to get out of bed. That is not the truth and it’s important to tell people that when you feel like all hope is lost, don’t believe it. It’s your mind in dysfunction while the world is the same.

We go to the doctor for fever, a broken bone, a kidney that is ailing... we need to extend the same courtesy to our minds. Our brain is just another organ in the body. It needs looking after. Your brain is not you... it is an organ you use. It cannot function at its optimum every once in a while. Just get help when that happens.  

You mentioned that feeling of utter hopelessness when you don’t want to get out of bed. Have you experienced it ever?

Not in recent years, but I did when I was younger. My entire childhood was full of days like that. I didn’t feel like I was living in a good world. But you struggle out of it. You understand that only through your achievements will you gain self-worth and that will change the model of your world. If you are not feeling good about yourself, you will not see good in the world. The idea is to recreate your world from the inside. Don’t try to change people around you... change yourself first.  

Last year was a fairly tumultuous year for you. What did you do to stay positive?

I am a student of life and my mission here is to grow into the best I can be. Whenever there is adversity, I enjoy it. I know that to become better at something, you have to pay your due. If you want a bigger muscle or a more chiselled body, you have to lift heavy loads. Any adversity is a gym for my mind. I know that my mind is going to get stronger because it’s going to lift a heavier load. I have a sense of humour and a sense of wonder every time I am faced with a problem of any kind. I believe I have a very analytical mind and I love solving problems.

Kaho Naa... Pyaar Hai released exactly 17 years ago. How do you look back at the journey?

I don’t... I only look forward. Even on the rare occasion that I do, I realise that it’s all redundant now. It’s important because it’s made me the man I am, but there is no point in looking back with any nostalgia.  

It seems like Sussanne and you have now reached a happy place in your relationship...

We have always had a very good equation. I am very proud of the fact that we are very good parents to our kids. Today we are friends. I think that comes from the fact that I can’t have a relationship in my life that’s not peaceful.

Are you open to the idea of finding love again?

I don’t think you can decide to fall in love. It happens. Falling in love, companionship, marriage... should be a consequence of realising that you enjoy spending time with someone.

Karishma Upadhyay