I am an 18-year-old boy in love with a girl from a different state. We stay in touch via online chat. Recently my father caught me chatting late at night and has stopped me from accessing the Internet since then. What should I do?
Name and address withheld
Go to a cyber club, you dolt or get yourself a mobile phone. What’s with this chatting nonsense? When we were young, we would get much luckier than most of you and we didn’t even have a phone which ever worked. And I mean the landline. And we still played the field. You guys have gotten spoilt. Which is why you have stopped innovating. Use your head to figure out what all you need to do!
I am a 13-year-old girl. I come from a very conservative family and my parents won’t allow me to go out of my city to pursue higher studies despite me wanting to do so. What should I do to persuade them?
Anahita Mallik, Ranchi
I think you should sit them down and analyse all the failures that Ranchi has produced for this fine country of ours. From a dysfunctional lunatic asylum to various chief ministers, and then proffer the argument that you must be allowed to leave Ranchi or else you sill start looking and behaving like Shibu Soren and no father would ever want that! Once you’ve done this analysis, we will welcome you to any civilised city in India.
I am a 27-year old woman. My father forced me to do an MBA in 2002 against my wishes. The course didn’t suit me and I ended up working as a sales executive. Due to low job satisfaction, I quir and have been unemployed since 2004. My parents and relatives insult me day in and day out. I have been suffering from severe depression for the last five years. How do I overcome it? Do I need to go to any rehabilitation centre?
Madhurima, Patna
If you are living in Patna, then no rehab centre will help you beyond a point. Just joking. My advice is ignore all the taunts and do exactly what you feel: it’s your life and given the way you are leading it, re-birth ain’t happening so why not enjoy what you have? Don’t let your parents get to you and imagine they were dead. It is simpler to imagine those you hate, dead, than keep listening to them and getting wound up.
I am 38 years-old. I have two children. My husband has been mentally and physically for some time now. Since my children have grown up, his behaviour is adversely affecting them as well. I am very unhappy and depressed with the current state of affairs. What should I do?
Name and address withheld
Lodge a complaint with the police but before that make sure you have enough money: steal from him effective today and then make a grand exit but not before he is dragged to the police station and locked up for good. Right now start accumulating money and evidence. In fact, whenever he hits you, tell him you enjoy it so much that you want to video-record it so that you can then assemble all the proof. There is no way that you should live with the rogue under these circumstances. Just no way.
I am a 19-year-old girl pursuing engineering. I have been in a steady relationship for the last three years. Just to secure high marks in physics, I entered into a physical relationship with my physics teacher. As a result, I passed the exam but my classmates are threatening to spill the beans and tell my boyfriend. I am in a fix and just don’t know what to do. What should I do?
Name and address withheld
Ah bloody hell! Physics teacher again? What on earth is going on with physics teachers in Bengal? Are they so virile or just too attractive because of the wretched complex subject they teach or do the students actually believe sleeping with your physics teachers will be a form of natural fission? In my time we had ugly (and male) physics teachers which is why we did the only thing possible: study. Just be bold and tell your classmates to tell your boyfriend. After scoring so well on all fronts, you can get anyone you want so why be scared?
From:
Mrs Patralekha Ghosh
The Principal,
Ashok Hall Girls’ Higher Secondary School
Dear Sir,
Our attention has been drawn by the parents / guardians and students of our school to your Graphiti issue dated April 26. In “Survival
Strategies”, Mr Suhel Seth has
suggested certain solutions to a reader, which inter alia reads as follows:
“I don’t think your kind of guy can hope to get someone from Loreto House (like we did) so I would
suggest you settle for Ashok Hall or Rani Birla or some other fine place and see if you get lucky.”
The advice given by Mr Suhel Seth hurt the sentiments of parents / guardians and students of our school a lot and degenerated the reputation of the school. We agree with the parents/ guardians’ view that Mr Suhel Seth’s insinuation is arrogant, disrespectful, in poor taste and is totally uncalled for.
We, therefore, request you and Mr Suhel Seth to withdraw the said remark and apologise for such remarks. The apology should be published boldly in the forthcoming issue of Graphiti and he should refrain from making such remarks in future against any educational institution specially girl’s schools or colleges.
Yours faithfully,
Mrs Patralekha Ghosh,
Principal, Ashok Hall Girls’ Higher Secondary School
Suhel Seth replies:
Dear Madam Principal:
I believe my April 29 comment on your school has upset you, some of your students and some of the parents. I am surprised it has because the comment was not meant to be either hurtful or for that matter disrespectful. The reason why this column is so successful and widely read is because of its irreverence. Never because it spreads hatred or an agenda. I am saddened that in this instance you, some of your students and some of the parents thought otherwise.
The other reason why this column exists is because it is part of a newspaper that is respected because it encourages contrarian thought and is published from a city called Calcutta which breeds everything else except intolerance and that too in the publishing world.
I have had the fondest memories of Ashok Hall and I have, at the invitation of your predecessors and your managing trustee (Manjushree Khaitan), been there as a guest speaker many times. Obviously, those times have changed and I am saddened by that too. I wish to reiterate that in these humourless times, the only thing this column strives for is to help people laugh. Obviously I misread the humour barometer.
My very best,
Suhel Seth
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park
Calcutta 700025
Ph: 24191174
E-mail: aakolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
For free help on alcoholism
Contact: Volunteers on line
Timings: 2.00 p.m. to 6 p.m.
Mondays through Saturdays
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free, anonymous and confidential tele helpline service giving emotional support for people who are depressed, distressed or suicidal
Timings: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Monday through Saturdays
Society for positive atmosphere & related support to hiv/aids (sparsha)
AE-36, Rabindra Pally,
P.- Prafulla Kanan
Calcutta — 700 101
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529 9856
Tele-counselling and face-to-face counselling on issues concerning relationships, sex education and free and confidential testing, counselling and information on HIV & AIDS
Contact: Counsellors on line
Timings: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Mondays through Fridays
Kornash ( The lifestyle management school )
139B Rashbehari Avenue,
Calcutta — 700 029
Ph: 9830149919
Interactive sessions on personality enhancement, stress reduction, lifestyle management, behavioural modification for children, marital counselling and psychotherapy
Contact: Counsellors on line
Timings: 12 p.m. to 8 p.m.,
Mondays through Saturdays
Society for nature, education and health (sneh)
Flat — 2B, 48/1, Chakraberia
Road (North) Calcutta — 700 020
Ph: 2486 7404, 2486 1940
E-mail: sneh@cal2.vsnl.net.in
Psychotherapy for children, adolescents and adults suffering from behavioural and emotional problems
Timings: 10.00 a.m. to 5.00 p.m.
Mondays through Saturdays
