I’m a 34-year-old man. I’m in love with a woman, who’s my friend’s widow. We’ve all been friends for almost eight years now. Two years ago my friend died in an accident. I respect his memories but I also truly love this woman. My family is also very fond of her. I want to marry her but I’m apprehensive about proposing. I’m wondering if I should propose myself or ask my parents to talk to her family. Please help.

Name and address withheld

Ask your parents, son. Don’t do it yourself. Is she truly fond of you? And could that be the reason why the husband drove his Ambassador into Eden Gardens? Think hard about this and cut out the crap about respecting your friend’s memory. You were dying to have her when your friend was alive. So forget the hypocrisy and get on with making your moves son.

I am a 24-year-old man. I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for the past four years. A few months ago, she said we should get physical only after we get married. But over the last two months, I have been involved in a couple of affairs without her knowledge. Did I do the right thing?

Name and address withheld

Of course you’ve done the right thing. The best time to be adulterous is just before one’s wedding and you have done a splendid job. My suggestion is keep at it. Make sure you have many more affairs so that you can also lay the foundation for more affairs post your marriage. Being an adulterer is a very healthy thing and I am a great believer in it. Just do me one favour: send me your fiancee’s number please. Why should she be the one who’s not having any fun?

I am a 23-year-old woman. My parents want me to get married soon. However, I want to concentrate on my career. How do I convince them?

Name and address withheld

Just get married and at least get that over and done with. I don’t think you have the ability to multi-task and you even sound like a huge loser so the best thing for you to do is get married, have children and then we’ll see what else to do. Okay?

HELP AT HAND

Alcoholics anonymous

10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta 700025
Ph: 24191174
E-mail: aakolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
For free help on alcoholism
Contact: Volunteers on line
Timings: 2.00 p.m. to 6 p.m.
Mondays through Saturdays

Lifeline Foundation

Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free, anonymous and confidential tele helpline service giving emotional support for people who are depressed, distressed or suicidal.
Timings: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Monday through Saturdays

Society for positive atmosphere & related support to hiv/aids (sparsha)

AE-36, Rabindra Pally,
P.O.: Prafulla Kanan
Calcutta — 700 101
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529 9856.
Tele-counselling and face-to-face counselling on issues concerning relationships, sex education and free and confidential testing, counselling and information on HIV & AIDS
Contact: Counsellors on line
Timings: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Mondays through Fridays

Kornash (The lifestyle management school)

139B Rashbehari Avenue,
Calcutta — 700 029
Ph: 9830149919
Interactive sessions on personality enhancement, stress reduction, lifestyle management, behavioural modification for children, marital counselling and psychotherapy
Contact: Counsellors on line
Timings: 12 p.m. to 8 p.m.,
Mondays through Saturdays