I am a 45-year-old, unmarried man living with my widowed mother. A few months ago I met a woman and we have become good friends within this short span of time. We are not looking for romance but companionship and are considering marriage. When I broke the news to my mother she went hysterical. She said I would have to leave the house if I was to get married. What must I do?
Name and address withheld
Your mother is strange. Truly. And I’m sure you have some of her genetic pool, which is why you have remained unmarried till 45. Look son, this is the way life is. If you are 45, then there’s pretty little romance left in your life anyway. You have few options: one is, you could cart the cow (your mother) to an old age home and leave her there. Or you could leave the house (but then, if you are a Bengali, you will never leave your mother) and settle down with this female friend. If all else fails, then resign your fate to becoming a member of some sordid club and drink yourself to death. There is nothing else you can (or should) do.
My wife is the suspicious kind. She is always accusing me of something or the other. And not just an illicit affair. I love her but things are going way out of hand. What must I do?
Name and address withheld
Look son, there are very few wives who are trusting and kind. Which is why many of us are happy bachelors. Now if you truly love her, then you will perforce need to tolerate this trait of hers too. My feeling is that your being too much in love with her is what is making her suspect something fishy. Wives don’t expect love from their husbands. They expect them to be obedient and subservient. Try playing the role of a servile subject to her whims and see how she will begin trusting you all over again!
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 8420738682
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www.india.al-anon.alateen.org
Narcotics anonymous
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Self-help group of recovering addicts
HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)
Sparsha
AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships
and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)
