I am in love with a woman five years older. She is a wonderful woman and I want to spend my life with her. However, my parents are strictly against the marriage and my mother keeps threatening me by saying that she would harm herself if I choose to marry the woman I love. Her only fault is that she is older than me. What do I do?
Name and address withheld
It is not her fault that she is older: it is yours as well, you dolt. Look this older woman thing in India never works. It may have worked for Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate but it will not for you. Indian women are in any case more mature than men at corresponding ages, so, while you will still be reading comics, this woman will have joined Asaram Bapu. So, my advice is if you love your mother and value your own happiness, then dump this old hag and get on with someone who’s younger and can relate to you. That is the simple truth. Love is always replaceable. Age can never be wound back.
My wife’s cousin has been hinting at having a crush on me. She flirts with me in my wife’s absence and has even ended up in my office a couple of times. I haven’t told my wife on grounds that she might misunderstand me. What do I do?
Name and address withheld
It depends, son. If you want to play, then go ahead and play. And if you don’t then seek martyr-hood by dragging your wife even deeper into this: tell her how this cousin will ruin family values and reputation. Even suggest that she has been groping you and so on and watch your wife show this cousin her real fangs. Women tolerate flirting. They hate the physical touch. So, go for it and keep me posted. There is nothing more exciting than impending incest!
HELP AT HAND
Alcoholics anonymous
10A, Nandan Road, Near Ganja Park, Calcutta - 25,
Ph: 2419 1174
For free help on alcoholism
E-mail: akolkata_ig03@rediffmail.com
(2p.m. to 6p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
Al-Anon (for families and friends of alcoholics)
Ph : 8420738682
(2p.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays)
www.india.al-anon.alateen.org
Narcotics anonymous
(Kolkata area helpline)
Ph: 9836223071; www.nakolkata.org
Email: info@nakolkata.org
Self-help group of recovering addicts
HelpAge India
1800-345-1253
Free helpline for the elderly for social, legal, economical, financial counselling and also access to government schemes and policies
Lifeline Foundation
Ph: 2463 7401/ 2463 7432
Free helpline for the depressed or suicidal (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturdays)
Sparsha
AE-36, Rabindra Pally, PO: Prafulla Kanan, Calcutta - 01
Ph: 2591 0334, 2591 3852, 6529, 9856
Free tele-counselling and one-on-one counselling on personal relationships and HIV/ AIDS (10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays)
