I’m 23 years old. Even after a year with me, my girlfriend’s still in touch with her ex-es although I’ve told her I don’t like it. She isn’t above telling a few lies either. What should I do?

Name and address withheld

Just dump her. These women are dangerous and they will play you at two levels. She will prove to her ex that she is brave and you are under her thumb and she can do whatever the hell she wants. And, on another plane, she will drive you nuts by playing on your insecurities, which, by the way, she is already doing. Dump her and move on before she dumps you. It’s endgame son.

I am a 25-year-old woman in a three-year relationship. He is an ideal person to be with, but hasn’t committed to marriage. Is living in the present better than being committed?

Name and address withheld

Listen darling, if after three years this gentleman has not committed, then the likelihood of him ever doing so is as much as BJP coming to power in Bengal, or the Congress having a mind. My suggestion is move on quickly and forget this crap of him being an ideal person. The only ideal person in the world is one who works for your happiness and complements you. Simple. This bloke seems the wicked kind and one day he will bolt the stables; so get on with your life before you start looking like the Planning Commission or the Niti Ayog as it is now called.

I am a 28-year-old woman. My husband is a die-hard football fan (of Mohun Bagan and Real Madrid). He stays up nights to watch the matches and it’s affecting his health. Recently, he couldn’t even take a joke about Real’s poor form. We thought it was stress, but his colleagues don’t think so. Please help.

Name and address withheld

Wow. So this dolt is actually going to get a heart-attack not from a miserable marriage but from some jokers in a football team who are out of form. This makes for an interesting case study. For starters why don’t you disconnect your TV service. That way he will miss both the football and the news channels and if he still remains mentally unsound, send him for a development course at JNU. He will be normal in front of many of those blokes.

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AL-ANON
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