Ashvin Kumar

Keep it rolling

Ashvin Kumar might have missed out on an Oscar, but the film community that made his self-financed short, Little Terrorist, possible, is the new destination of choice for Indian filmmakers with dream-filled eyes and vacuum-filled pockets. Shooting People is an independent, self-supporting US and UK-based organisation where both amateur and expert filmmakers worldwide pool their talents ? sometimes, as in the case of Kumar?s film, for free. Founded in 1988, Shooting People changed the UK independent film scene dramatically and now has more than 20,000 members worldwide. It?s everything that independent film stands for ? passion, ideas, debate and creative partnerships. Visit them at www.shootingpeople.org and ask for help making your film. Who knows, you might be sitting in the Kodak Theatre too, one day.

Penelope Cruz intends to adopt an orphan from a country where she?s ?seen a level of misery I?d only heard of on the news?. She?s worked with the Missionaries of Charity, so guess which city this baby will be from.

Dudes and other geeks

My new favourite musician (also independent and self-financing) is never going to find work as a model, but he?s hipper than a happy hippopotamus. Rajeev Bajaj, a 39-year-old engineer from California, has formed a record label and released an album with the noble aim of convincing the world that engineers are actually cool. Geek Rhythms contains four hip-hop songs praising engineers with lyrics such as ?I am an Engineer/ Respect my mind / I made D.C. from A.C./ Been trying since B.C.? and ?I pack more heat in a computer chip than any man/There is more than most can handle?. Why do something so delusional? Growing up in India, Bajaj didn?t know that engineers were considered geeky social misfits, and so, now, he wants to change public perception. What he should be doing is trying to sell his work to the IITs as a potential new anthem.

More gas than gobar

Does the picture above make you want a divine solution to your beauty problems? The BJP has the answer. Its new goratna range of products ? lotions, pills, cures made from cow urine and dung ? is selling faster than, well, hot cakes. And it?s not just beauty ? these miracle products claim to cure everything from constipation to ?ladies? diseases?. I?m a bit wary of the cowdung toothpaste, though.

Tut, tut

Who?s bad?

If you?re female, Indian, in your 20s, can?t cook and show no signs of getting married, then you are clearly a Bad Indian Girl. In which case, you will enjoy this new and entertaining website I found recently, BadIndianGirl.com ? it?s currently targetted at Indian communities in the West, but its content relates immensely to the many B.I.G.s I know and love. The site teaches you to do diverse things, from dealing with Pervert Uncles and Nosy Aunties to finding out if your family has secretly posted your profile on an Indian matrimonial site. Warning: Good Indian Girls are advised to go to shaadi.com instead.

AWARD OF THE WEEK

To ex-VJ Yudi ?Urs?, the World?s Worst Broadcast Journalist, for his stuttering, stammering and completely inept performance from behind a hedge at the pre-Oscars Red Carpet show, as all of Hollywood walked by, ignoring him.